Shades of Grey
by StarChibi
Summary: Soujiro's travelling by himself, searching for his own truth when he discovers how hard it is to find a straight line in a world of circles. R/R please! FINAL CHAPTER
1. Dareka, dareka tasukete

Author's Note: Okay, I kind of wrote all of this before I put it up because I didn't want to get anyone upset if I didn't finish it, although if you like it that much you probably need professional help anyway. I think _I_ need professional help for writing this. Anyway it's a load of crap and Soujiro's OOC in my opinion ANYWAY. I apologise for any bad grammar, spelling, stuff that makes no sense OOCness no plot no character development and severe lack of writing talent exhibited. Don't bother writing corrections in your reviews 'cos I wrote all of it before it got posted and I don't really take this stuff seriously enough to go back and correct it unless I am really bored. Since I have been working my butt off at school for the last three months and it is now holz I have better things to do.

Not really, but I hate editing. I apologise to anyone who finds this mannerism of mine offensive, I really am sorry but at least I'm not lying to you.

Okay… JAPANESE LANAGUAGE LESSONS, yay, boy do I need them. If you're good at Jap and I mutilated the language, I apologise VERY deeply. I'm bad at it. The language, not apologising.

Happy Easter for those of you it applies to. Happy holidays. 

Is anyone outside of Australia even ON holidays, actually? Oh well. Happy holidays anyway.

Tasukete- help me

Dareka- someone/anyone

-chan- suffix denoting affection

-san- suffix denoting respect/politeness, usually dubbed with "Mrs/Miss/Ms/Mrs etc"

-sama- suffix denoting loads of respect/worshiping. Usually using in place of "Lord/Lady/Master/Mistress/Madam" and has also been dubbed as "dear".

-kun- suffix used on people you work with mainly and are on friendly terms with.

Genki de ne- stay well/take care

Tsuyoi- strong

Ano- um

Daijoubu/ daijoubu desuka- all right/ are you all right

Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING to do with RuroKen. Right. And when that happens they'll start selling snow boots in Hell.

This _starts_ a few months after Soujiro leaves Shishio. He's still eighteen.

Chapter One : Dareka…dareka, tasukete

Someone, anyone, help me

_"Soujiro! Are you trying to make a fool out of me?!"_

_The wooden hilt of the sheathed katana struck Soujiro across his cheek. Blood spattered the ground as the eight-year-old stumbled, falling to the ground with a choke of pain. _

_The women…they stood and watched as the blows rained down. _

_"I'll KILL YOU!"_

_Soujiro tried to breathe, but all he could taste was blood. Their voices rang in his ears, abnormally loud, warped and terrifying as thunder began to roll in the distance. _

_"Wait, won't that look kind of bad?"_

_"Oh, as long as we tell the cops we'll be fine. There's a dangerous criminal hiding out around here, remember?"_

_"Right, and since we're giving them information we'll all be richly rewarded…"_

_"Go ahead and do it, brother…"_

_"Right, I'll KILL you, brat!"_

_Kill you_

_Kill_

_Kill…Soujiro's eyes widened as his eyes caught the unsheathed blade raised up high in clumsy but vengeful hands. He scrambled to his feet, too terrified to notice the screams of his body._

_"Dareka.." he panted, fingers scraping the dirt as his staggered on a rock. "Tasukete…"their angry yells rang in his ears. _

_"Dareka…_DAREKA TASUKETE!"

Soujiro's eyes slammed open and his hands hit the ground, supporting himself as he panted. Damp leaves crumpled under his hands as sweat trickled down his cheek and dripped onto the forest floor. The cry rang in his ears, too real…

Someone had screamed? The air seemed to echo. Soujiro jumped to his feet, his sword in his belt, disappearing into the shadows of the forest as the first rays of sunlight peeked out over the horizon. 

Birds looked down from their perches or nests as something like a wind passed beneath them, rustling the leaves of the trees. Leaves settled back down on the forest floor again.

And because the wind does strange things, they paid it gave it no more thought.

The "wind" that had passed wasn't sure what to think anymore, but a cry it had heard too often was still ringing in its ears…

'Rei-chan, here.'

'But…Madam…this is a-'

'-a dagger.' Madam finished calmly. She was a fairly young woman, in her late twenties. There was a little boy next to her, about eight years old, and a toddler not more than two next to her, shaking. Opposite the mother was a much younger girl, sixteen years of age dressed in a simpler kimono than Madam, if not so modest. Outside, there was another bloody scream, a slight gurgle. Both women kept their faces still, but the boy buried his face in his mother's sleeve. The girl looked at eh weapon in her small hands.

'Why, Madam?'

'I have children, Rei-chan.' Madam said primly, but her voice shook slightly as she lifted her legs and removed a false panel in the seat. She hurriedly shooed the children in the dark space beyond as three more screams rang out. 

'I do not intend for them to die in a place and manner such as this.'

'Very good, Madam.' The younger woman schooled her expression as she lowered the dagger by her side. 

'Are you afraid, Rei-chan?'

'Not really, Madam. My life is not worth so much.'

Madam sighed, looking fed up.

'We have got to do something about your inferiority complex thingy.'

'What are they, Madam?'

'I have no idea, but it sounds about right. What do you suppose it means?'

The girl known as "Rei-chan" never got a chance to reply as the door was swung open. A face, with an expression she had seen too often, leaned in side and waved a notched and bloodied sword. The smell of death and the cold early-spring morning floated in the door. 

'All right…two attractive ladies.' The man said, with an impressive leer and stupid accent that was his idea of how you talked when you had an education and the money to buy whores.

'Out.'

'Certainly.' Madam said, rising to her feet. 'Come, Reiko.'

'Hai…' Reiko rose. Madam's hand flashed. The man coughed blood, and looked in astonishment at the blade buried in his chest. Madam pulled, and flicked the blood off the blade in an imitation of her palace guards, saying a word that made Reiko's blank expression crack in horror.

'Madam!'

'I've always wanted to say that. Usually to my husband.' Madam sighed happily, apparently not noticing the bandits closing in on them. 'You should try swearing sometime, you know.'

'H-Hai.' Reiko managed. Madam looked at the blood-covered blades that surrounded them.

'Oh my. Well, Rei-chan… it was nice knowing you. I appreciate your help with my children.'

'I am sorry for my position in your household, Madam. However I appreciate your care of me.'

'Are you girls done?' the apparent leader said. 'We were going to let you live, but for killing one of our buddies…'

'This is an overused line, but-' everyone looked around to where the young man stepped out of the forest, smiling amiably. Madam's eyes narrowed. The smile seemed a little… predatory. 

'-if you lay one finger on those women, I'll show you no mercy.' There was a pause. 'And since I'm basically an honest person, I might as well mention that I haven't actually used mercy on anyone yet, so I might get it a bit wrong.' The boy added, laughing sheepishly. 

Madam kept her eyes on him as a sudden rustle of fabric told her one had grabbed a hold of Reiko. The boy's eyes narrowed.

'Very well.' He said, not loud enough for them to hear.

And then he disappeared.

Reiko didn't move as blood spattered her clothes.

'I'm sorry Miss, I think I just ruined your clothes.'

He smiled on the outside. There wasn't one within.

'No. Thankyou for your help, young man.' Madam said calmly. She didn't remark on his sword skill. Anyone who could kill twenty armed men in less than a second was beyond unbelievably good. That was enough. 

'Would you mind escorting us into town?'

The smile was beginning to become strained, so she added,

'Don't feel you must keep on smiling. What you did just now wasn't pleasant.'

Soujiro felt a twinge of gratefulness, but it was a while before he let the smile edge of his face. It felt strange, revealing himself like that. 

'Pardon?'

'We were on our way back home.' Madam explained patiently. 'Our escorts, as you see, have been killed. After we bury all here, would you mind? I will pay you, of course but…' she looked him up and down, slightly amused. 'Perhaps some clothes, a hot bath and decent food with some small change might be more appreciated than a large sum.'

_Hot bath…food!_

'Hai, hai.' Soujiro found himself agreeing, bobbing his head up and down in hurried agreement. Madam laughed, and introduced herself and her associate.

'I am Yamazaki Shiori. This is my husband's mistress and my handmaid, Kirabaysahi Reiko. Hajimemashite.'

'Hajimemashite.' Soujiro repeated, bowing. 'Excuse me-'

'Everyone calls me Madam.'

'-Madam, but…did one of you scream before? Did…_anyone_ scream for help?' Doubt was beginning to assail him… it a had been a child's voice, that had scream so loud…

Madam looked in blue eyes, filled with confusion, unaccustomed to having to be hidden, and deep, deep hurt and pain…

'No.' she said eventually. 'We did not scream for help, young man.'

'I…see…' Soujiro turned his face towards the rising sun. 'I see.' He repeated softly. 

'Your name?' Madam asked suddenly, tying up her sleeves as she looked at the bodies. 

'Seta.' Soujiro said, shaking himself. 'Seta Soujiro.'

The group attracted quite a bit of attention when they arrived in the town late that afternoon. Madam had found a hot spring when Soujiro had insisted on burying the bodies, and sent the women and children off and they had all washed their clothes and bodies. He'd never done such a thing as burying bodies before, but he didn't like the thought of a mother with two little children and a girl quite obviously unwell digging graves. 

He'd known Reiko was sick as soon as he'd looked at her. There was the slight pallor of her skin, and a constant aura of exhaustion. And then she'd started coughing; so hard her entire body shook, just after Madam revealed the children. Madam had supported Reiko while the girl coughed, and Soujiro had watched the blood stain the ground. Madam had explained, once they had begun walking and the youngest child was asleep on her back, and the other telling Reiko about something his friends had been doing. She had said that ever since she was a young girl Reiko had been a sickly child, since she came to her household. Her parents had sold her when she was seven years old to Madam's husband. This man, Madam explained with no love in her voice, found weakness desirable; whether it was feminine fragility or sickness or tiredness from wounds. Reiko had all of these, though it got worse after he started using her. Madam's marriage had been for financial benefits on both sides, but Reiko's movement into the household had been for her husband's own sick pleasure. 

'But she is a naturally sweet, caring child.' Madam sighed; glancing at the girl she allowed herself to call "Rei-chan" in certain company. 'She does not believe she has been wronged, but that it is a simple fact that her life is like this. She does not feel marginalised at all because she believes she is not worthy of anything that other people call better.' She shook her head and looked at the young man, whose smile turned on and off, as if he was not sure when a smile should be worn. 

'But if you don't mind my intrusion, what are you doing, travelling by yourself?'

'I'm just… finding my truth.' Soujiro said softly. 

'I see.' Madam smiled, and left it at that. Soujiro never found out whether she truly did see, or she didn't. 

Reiko had another coughing fit in the main street of the town, enough to send her to her knees. Blood hit the ground in splashes. 

'Reiko-san.' The oldest son said, hugging himself as his mother bent to rub the girl's back. 'Soujiro-san, can't you do anything?'

'Me?' Soujiro blinked. 'I'm sorry, Kenji. I'm a swordsman, not a doctor.'

'But she's so-' Kenji murmured, wincing as more blood hit the ground. The crowd that had flowed through the streets was in a circle around them now, and the wince was collective with most. Soujiro guessed, however, nothing could be done but wait for the fit to stop; he looked around, beginning to notice strange discrepancies. He had noticed several guards hiding in the forest, more as they approached the town. Inside the walls, most swords could be seen around every corner. It seemed almost as if the law hadn't reached here. The crowd began to part and fall silent, the sympathetic murmurs and wishes for a half-decent doctor falling into quiet as a large man that greatly reminded Soujiro of some large farm animal, like an ox. On two legs like pylons and little piggy eyes, dressed in fine clothes that looked out of place on his unevenly coloured body. 

Intuition as the man strolled heavily forward, sake bottle swinging in his hand, led Soujiro to look at Madam. The women had raised herself into a standing position, her chin raised and her shoulders back. Despite her short stature, she seemed at that moment far above this red-nosed, ugly man in rich man's clothes. The sake bottle swung, and shattered over her forehead. Madam raised an elegant and hand brushed the fragments of pottery aside, ignoring the blood that was beginning to stream.

'Where were you, woman?!' the man bellowed. The members of the crowd were beginning to retreat; to hide or to watch from a safer viewpoint. 'You were supposed to be back for LUNCH!'

'I am very sorry, my lord.' Madam said, kneeling on the ground and bowing. 'We were attacked by bandits and had to walk back.'

'Attacked by bandits, huh?' the man sneered. 'I likely story.'

'Excuse me sir.' Soujiro said. The huge man focused on the lightly built boy dressed in blue. 'It's true. I helped your wife and her handmaid.'

'Mama, mama daijoubu?' Kenji tugged at his mother's sleeve. She pushed him quickly over to Soujiro, taking the blow meant for him from her husband's meaty hand.

'Mama!'

Madam caught herself on her hands. Soujiro looked in astonishment at the boy that had crashed into his legs. Madam wiped blood from her mouth with the back of her hand and took a deep breath. 

'Mama!'

'No, Kenji.' Soujiro said sharply, rgabbing the back of the boy's shirt.

_What am I doing?_

_You're helping the weak._

_But I don't- I don't do that! It's not-_

_-not right? But that's Shishio-san's truth. Helping the weak is how Himura leads his life. You aren't Shishio-san or Himura, so…_

_So?_

_…why don't you do… what you started to do, without thinking?_

Soujiro pushed Kenji behind a barrel of rice and stepped into the middle, picking up the little toddler and giving him to his brother. He then crossed back to Reiko and Madam.

'Ma-' blood hit the gravel. '-dam.'

'She's fine.' Soujiro said, Reiko's back gingerly, a gesture he'd never felt the compulsion to use before. 

'Help her, please-' more blood. 'she's been so kind…to me…' Reiko panted, and coughed once more. Soujiro stared. Help her… but you…

Don't THINK! His own head screamed at him. His hand raised shakily, resting on his forehead. His fingers tightened.

'Don't think..' he muttered. 'Don't think, don't think, don't think about it, just don't think about it, I can't, I won't, I don't want to-… I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!' he shook his head from side to side frantically, trying to get rid of the voices that plagued him; Himura's, Shishio-san's, his own two inner voices…

The young warrior shook his head, screaming to himself aloud, one hand buried in his raven hair. Lord Yamazaki stopped abusing his wife and grinned at the young man.

'And this is the little boy you claimed save you? He's just a child with his father's sword! I'll kill you, BRAT!'

I'll kill you?

Kill you

Kill…

Kill…

Soujiro's eyes widened as Madam and Reiko faded to shadows and the man grew to a giant size, phantoms appearing behind him, slowly, echoes at first at then, like fog, colour rolled in, swirling, lending itself to create forms and features. 

_"Wait, won't that look kind of bad?"_

_"Oh, as long as we tell the cops we'll be fine. There's a dangerous criminal hiding out around here, remember?"_

_"Right, and since we're giving them information we'll all be richly rewarded…"_

_"Go ahead and do it, brother…"_

_"Right, I'll KILL you, brat!"_

'-KILL YOU, BOY!'

'Aah-' Soujiro's right hand twitched.

_"Go ahead and do it, brother…"_

'Nng-' Soujiro's eyes screwed shut as his hand shook.

_"Right, I'll KILL you, brat!"_

'NOT AGAIN!' 

Soujiro looked along his outstretched arm. Blood trickled off his katana. There was a gurgle behind him. Soujiro turned around as if on strings, eyes wide, watching the torso of Madam's husband split in two. Blood sprayed his front, but Soujiro didn't move. Madam stood stock-still, too still. Reiko watched Soujiro, though the young man didn't notice. 

'I-' 

'He killed Lord Yamazaki.' Someone said flatly. Madam rose shakily to her feet, and gathered her children to her. 

'Soujiro-san, you will pick up Kirabayashi and follow me.'

'H…Hai…' Soujiro said numbly, willing to follow any voice of authority. _I.. killed someone again._

_But… back then…_

_I was crying…_

Tasukete.


	2. Mienai, wakarenai

**Chapter Two: Mienai, wakarenai** I can't see, I can't understand 

'Seta-sama.'

Soujiro glanced away from where he was sitting, watching the trees from the edge of the room he had been given. Reiko knelt in the doorway, neat and clean. She had collapsed before; he'd carried her as Madam had ordered, on his back, back to this huge house. Reiko was beautiful; he had noticed that when he'd first looked at her as well. There was a kind of fragility about her that was natural- she reminded Soujiro of a sheet of ice over a pond in winter. Easily shattered. She didn't seem sick before, though she needed more rest. 

'Yes, Reiko-san?'

'Madam will see you now, Seta-sama.' Reiko said. 'If you could follow me, please.'

As Soujiro padded softly alongside Reiko through the hallways, he pondered something that had been troubling him. He had just murdered the lord of this house, but there were no signs of human grieving. He had heard preparations for a funeral being carried on, but it was done blank-faced. Madam herself had seemed composed. Even the children… there was no love towards the Master here, when no one outside was watching. 

Evidently Soujiro was no worth worrying about. Reiko knelt on the floor and pushed open the door.

'Madam, Seta-sama is here.'

'Thankyou, dear. Oh no, stay here.' Reiko stopped, and stepped in behind Soujiro, shutting the door. Madam was seated by the window, her clothes fresh but simple, in mourning for her husband. 

'How are my children?'

'Sleeping, madam.'

'Good. Then we have some time. Both of you please sit.'

Soujiro and Reiko did as she bid, and Madam settled her shrewd brown eyes on Soujiro. He saw no sign of grief.

'As you are no doubt aware you did kill my husband.' She began. Soujiro nodded; nothing in her voice. He'd been right; there was no love here. 'While to the people outside of this house this is a terrible event for his family and household, it is in fact for the better. My husband led a dissolute life and as I have already told you, he was almost constantly drunk, asleep and involved in disgustingly barbaric acts of violence.'

Reiko was not mentioned, Soujiro suspected, because she was involved in most of these on a level that did not bear talking about; Madam was not the mood for blunt revelations but business. A suspicion bloomed in the back of Soujiro's mind. 

'In his state he was not fit to govern the business or this household.' Madam continued. 

'You took over, didn't you.' Soujiro said. Madam nodded.

'Indeed; I became both master and mistress for this household. Fortunately the help we have here have been forced to use their intelligence to deal with my husband's incompetence- they accepted my leadership and even helped me to increase by knowledge to our business's benefit, since initially I was not trained for business management. As a result, however, I have had near total control of this house for the __

past several years. You could say my husband was a blight on this household, so you have done us a favour. I suspect many in town realise this but because of the current values in our world they will not admit to it.' 

'My children hated him. I hated him. He was my husband whom I was supposed to love out of duty, but I hated him.' Madam turned away to look out at the gardens, sighing, and then got a grip on herself. 'Now, Soujiro, this is what we will do, and I say we. The funeral preparations will go ahead as if we a truly in grief here. I will have to make several losses in the market and then gradually pick up again so our house's collapse seems real and is not suspected. Kenji will have to taken on responsibility; I refuse to marry again. The problem of you is not so simple.'

What she had talked about doing wasn't as simple as she made it sound, Soujiro knew, and he also knew he was smiling again. 

'I feel I should thank you, but this isn't an appropriate course of action where the rest of the world is concerned, even in this town.' She looked at his inquiring expression. 'My husband murdered all the policemen who came here. He liked to feel as if he was an emperor.' She sighed. 'Swords are still commonplace here.'

'I will leave, of course.' Soujiro said. 'I did not plan to stay. I am amazed my your kindness to me already.'

'And yet you have done us nothing favours.' Madam smiled. 'If I let you stay here, Soujiro, I'm afraid this house may indeed collapse. I wish you could stay- I believe I have grown quite fond of you.'

Soujiro laughed quietly.

'Well, I'm flattered, Madam, but-' he stopped. Yumi… she'd seemed fond of him too. It wasn't impossible, then, for people to "grow fond of him". Was that weakness, to do it so suddenly? And yet Madam was far from weak; she had two children, a sick friend and handmaid in Reiko, and had run a huge household and business almost by herself. She was not weak in that sense but…

…in other ways she was.

She was watching him, and Soujiro tried to school his expression.

'I heard an English businessman say once,' she said blandly, apparently out of nowhere, 'that nothing is in black and white, but shades of grey. It is frustrating, and means there is little in the world to go by but accepting that fact and dealing with is as best you can. I believe this is the greater truth, but there is nothing wrong with finding a smaller one to make life easier.'

'Madam-'

She stood.

'Now, Soujiro, why don't you join us for dinner? Reiko, eat with us, won't you? You are not bound to my husband any longer so you don't have to stay here- but I should like you to stay, and help me. It is your choice. Give me your answer when you have thought it over.'

Soujiro glanced at Reiko, whose expression indicated she didn't know what to think. 

'Ne, niichan. Niichan? Soujiro!'

Soujiro glanced at Kenji.

'Were you calling me "niichan"? I'm sorry, I didn't know.'

'Would I be calling Reiko-san "niichan"?' Kenji demanded, pointing at the girl seated on Souiiro's other side. 'You're the only boy here who's older than me!'

'Oh, I guess so.' Soujiro said, laughing sheepishly. Niichan? 'What is it, Kenji-san?'

'Kenji, just Kenji!' Kenji groaned, and hurried on. 'Anyway, niichan, are you gonna stay here forever?'

'I can't.' Soujiro said. Kenji's face fell. 

'But-'

'Kenji.' Madam said softly. Kenji glanced at his mother and fell silent, looking utterly miserable. Soujiro watched the boy for some time before resuming eating. Somehow it didn't taste so good. 

_"Soujiro! Are you trying to make a fool out of me?!"_

_The wooden hilt of the sheathed katana struck Soujiro across his cheek. Blood spattered the ground as the eight-year-old stumbled, falling to the ground with a choke of pain. _

_The women…they stood and watched as the blows rained down. _

_"I'll KILL YOU!"_

_Soujiro tried to breathe, but all he could taste was blood. Their voices rang in his ears, abnormally loud, warped and terrifying as thunder began to roll in the distance. _

_"Wait, won't that look kind of bad?"_

_"Oh, as long as we tell the cops we'll be fine. There's a dangerous criminal hiding out around here, remember?"_

_"Right, and since we're giving them information we'll all be richly rewarded…"_

_"Go ahead and do it, brother…"_

_"Right, I'll KILL you, brat!"_

'EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

The door to his room was pushed open almost as soon as Soujiro sat up, panting, eyes wide. Sweat trickled down his forehead and hit the futon. When the door moved, Soujiro's sword swung through the air.

Stop! His inner voice screamed at him.

…and he did. Reiko's eyes were blank as blood trickled down from her throat, where the blade rested. Soujiro forced the sword away from his hand as if it had bitten him- it clattered to the ground, a metre away from them.

'I'm so sorry, Reiko-san.'

'It was my fault for intruding.' Reiko said. 'I heard you scream and I was concerned. I see I am merely being a bother to you. I apologise.' She bowed deeply, while Soujiro stared. 'I will leave now.'

As she stood, Soujiro's sharp eyes noticed the bruises that laced her collarbone, not usually revealed by the kimono she usually wore. He caught her wrist as she turned to go.

'Wait a moment.' He said. 'Stay here. I want to ask you something.'

'Do I… like being weak?'

Soujiro nodded, watching her. Reiko looked at her small hands, folded neatly in her lap, as she considered the question. 

'Well, Seta-sama… I don't like being sick, no. But in every other sense… I prefer things the way they are. I always have.'

'Even when the master-'

'Yes, Seta-sama.' Reiko said, smiling gently, beautifully in the moonlit room. 'I'm just not a strong person like you or Madam. I prefer things the way they are.'

Soujiro's eyes widened.

"I think I'll give that sword back to Shishio-san…I'm just not a strong person like he is, and anyway, I like things as they are…"

'Seta-sama, did I say something to trouble you? I'm sorry.' Reiko said. Soujiro's smile failed him. 

'I'm fine, Reiko-san. But what about you? You look so tired.'

Anything to distract him from the different views that had been told to him, anything…

'I am fine, Seta-sama.' Reiko said. But her face was paler as she stood. 'I think I had better leave you to-' she coughed. And coughed harder and harder, falling to her knees. The blood soon came. 

'Reiko-san…' Soujiro murmured. The girl stopped, and then thick blood hit the tatami. Soujiro's eyes widened. That was even worse than before-

'She should be all right.' Madam said, as they watched Reiko sleep. 'She's had worse attacks, but now she will have to rest for quite a long time. The doctor says now that my husband is dead, she will be able to improve. She will always be a fragile girl, though.' 

'I see.' Soujiro said, standing. Madam looked up at him.

'You are leaving?'

Soujiro nodded.

'Well then, visit the kitchen. They have prepared food and money for you to take with you. I refuse to take no for an answer.' She added, as Soujiro opened his mouth. 'Must I escort you to the kitchen like a child, Soujiro?'

'No, Madam.' Soujiro said, bowing. 'Thankyou.'

'No, thankyou, Soujiro. Genki de ne.'

Soujiro smiled, almost bitterly. His life seemed to be full of these.

'Hai… genki de ne… Shiori-san.'

She smiled.

'I'm just not a strong person like you or Madam. I prefer things the way they are.'

'Is being weak… really all that bad? If you can be content…'

The early morning sun hit the mist over the forest, creating tiny sparkles and strange light effects around him. I wish I could talk to myself as a child. Maybe he could clear up a few things… help me remember. He seems like… a different person now. But because he became me, and I was him, so he should still be here, shouldn't he?

Because if he wasn't here, somewhere…

The memories wouldn't hurt so much.

But…

But I…

'I'm just not a strong person like you or Madam. I prefer things the way they are.'

I want to but… I can't… I can't seem to understand that way of thinking anymore…


	3. Onigiri de aita

Chapter Three: Onigiri de aita 

Met over Riceballs

Time moved on.

It has a habit of doing that.

'How are you feeling today, Rei-chan?'

'Much better, thankyou Madam.'

Madam smiled a genuine smile. 

'That's good.'

Reiko smiled and smoothed down her blanket over her lap as she sat in her bed, and turned her eyes to the garden beyond the opened doors on the outside side of her room.

'Thankyou for making time to come and see me.' The handmaid added. She had been forbidden to do anything that strained her too much- this, given her condition when Soujiro-sama had left without saying goodbye, was quite a bit. Now, almost a year later, her attacks were fewer and less dramatic, but they still sent her to bed to rest. Reiko was grateful to Soujiro-sama. He had freed Madam and the children from the drunken rampages of her husband.

Reiko's own abuse at the hands of the man had been a part of her everyday life and she had grown used to that. But now she was feeling much better, and she was learning… learning to have _fun_. The cook was teaching her how to make sweet things for the children, and she had several people in town she could talk with and listen to when she went shopping with Kashiko, one of the kitchen maids. Soujiro's actions, she knew, had led to her new life.

But she remembered that night when he'd screamed in his sleep. He'd sounded like a child. She remembered the look in his eyes when he realised what he'd done, back in the market place, as blood rained down. The same look came back so often… pain, hurt, regret. 

Killing people wasn't something he wanted to do.

'You're thinking about Soujiro-kun again.' Madam observed. The two women sometimes talked about him; Reiko, Madam knew, worried about him even though she knew it probably knew it wasn't necessary. She was just that kind of person. There was something, however, that drew the younger girl to the swordsman… probably the sadness that surrounded them both. Reiko was quiet, resigned- only just learning she had been mistreated and previously, had so little to be thankful for from the point of view of a normal person. The quiet conflict there that the girl silently pondered inside her own head gave her an air of a kind of thoughtful sadness. Sadness at her own ignorance, at the state of the world. Soujiro's sadness was more confused. If Madam was right and he was not used to experiencing emotions, that meant he was not used to controlling them like Reiko was. She was gentle and sensitive, but the presence of Madam and the children helped her keep her warmth. Soujiro had been so sensitive and so alone that he'd locked everything away.

He hadn't grown up. Emotions govern your personality throughout a lot of your childhood and adolescence. Soujiro had begun to experience emotions at the end of this period and that…

…meant he was volatile. 

There was a kind of love there. Madam watched Reiko nod, smiling, and the girl's eyes faded away into thought again. Madam didn't know if Reiko built on what she knew of Soujiro. Fantasised versions of people were always so much better than the real thing. 

Madam hoped Soujiro would pass by one day. The children missed him, and there really was something about him that drew her to him. 

He'd never known his mother, if she guessed right.

Soujiro blinked, and looked at the graves. Time had made them less noticeable, but still-

He'd never meant to end up here. Damn policeman.

Soujiro had never sworn in eighteen years. Now, he had discovered that on occasion it was a good outlet for his emotions. Swearing too much made it mundane, but by limiting the profanities to certain occasions and people they gave a certain amount of satisfaction.

That policeman definitely warranted a "damn". They were so _persistent_. 

His stomach growled, reminding him of how long he'd been on the road and just when he'd run out of food. From memory, that town was the closest…

He didn't really want to run into Madam or Reiko-san again. It wasn't that he didn't like them, quite the opposite. They were some of the very few that had given a confused teenager that smelt of blood a warm welcome. It was just that- just that he was still confused. He didn't have his answer yet, and he was afraid that he might…

…want to stay, and then he'd never find his answer.

Sneak in, buy food, get out. Good plan.

'Neechan, I'm hungry!'

'Boku mo, boku mo.' Souta chanted, from Reiko's arms. 

'You too?' Reiko asked. Kenji and Souta smirked at each other. 'All right, your mother gave me some money for when this happened…' Reiko gently gave Souta to Kenji and pulled out her wallet. 'What would you like?'

'Niichan!'

'Eh?' Reiko asked. 'That's a strange thing to say, Kenj-' she stopped, her gaze following his as he bounced up and down in the street, waving his arms excitedly. 

'NIIICHAAAAN! SOOOUJIROOOO!'

Reiko watched as the young man choked on his riceball, and Kenji scampered over and whacked him happily on the back to dislodge the rice. 

'K-Kenji-san!'

'I told you, just Kenji.' Kenji scowled, and then wrinkled his nose. 'Oi, niichan, you need a bath.'

'Thanks.' Soujiro muttered, and then smiled. Another little boy scrambled up next to him. 'Who's this?'

'This is Souta, my pet monkey.' Kenji announced with a straight face. Soujiro's eyebrows shot up. 

'Kenji-sama, that's not really very nice.'

'But it's true!'

Reiko sighed at the little boy and bowed to Soujiro, picking up Souta again. 

'It's good to see you looking so well, Seta-sama.'

'You as well, Reiko-san.' Soujiro said. And she did look much better. 

'What are you talking about?' Kenji demanded. 'He smells and he's half-starved and he has no money!'

'I have money.' Soujiro said, feeling some self-defence was in order.

'Did I ask you?' Kenji asked him regally. Reiko blushed in embarrassment and covered the boy's mouth with her hand.

'I'm sorry, it's his day out and he gets excited…' 

'That's all right.' Soujiro said, hurrying to finish his riceball. His stomach growled and Souta giggled hysterically. 

'Come to the house with us, niichan. You can stay for lunch, at least.' Kenji commanded, as if guessing the young man didn't want to stick around. 

'Oh, I don't want to-'

'Mother would really like to see you again, I know she would. Come on, let's go! Hurry up, neechan!'

'Don't rush, you'll trip, Kenji-sama - oh dear…'

'….ano… Kenji-san? Daijoubu desuka?'

'Don't be silly, Rei-chan, I'm fi- EAGH! _Ow_!'

A sweatdrop slid down Soujiro's forehead. That was some nasty antiseptic. He said as much, and Reiko turned around from her medical administrations to smile at him. 

'Yes, it is. It's from Germany… it hurts quite a lot but it's very effective and speeds up the healing.'

'Sou…' Soujiro murmured. 

'Is something bothering you, Seta-sama?' Reiko asked. Soujiro almost jumped, and he waved his hands hurriedly.

'Oh, no, not really and-' he changed the subject rapidly '-please don't call me "Seta-sama", Reiko-san.'

She nodded.

'All right, Seta-sama.' 

Soujiro blinked and a sweatdrop slid down his forehead as Kenji began laughing. 

'Er… Reiko-san…' 

'Hai, Seta-sama.' Reiko put the bowl down in front of him.

'Didn't we talk about that "seta-sama" thing?' Soujiro demanded. He could feel the tension normally possessing his shoulders and back easing away under the trivial thing. 

'Hai, Seta-sama.'

'…Reiko…san….' Soujiro ground out. "Sama"…he wasn't a "sama" and never would be…

'Rei-chan, stop teasing Soujiro-kun.' Madam ordered. Reiko blinked.

'But I wasn't teasing him! I'm sorry Seta-sama, have I off- what are you doing on the floor?'

Soujiro gripped the edge of the table and pulled himself up, muttering. Madam covered her mouth with her sleeve. Soujiro held his head. He'd never face-faulted before. It hurt a bit, but he supposed you got used to it. He'd never done a lot of the things the people of this house made him do. When he was out on the road, he was almost… the same as he had been except more alone, silent and troubled. Here…

'Reiko-san, sit down please.' He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her down. Reiko looked at him blankly. 'I do not like being called "Seta-sama".'

There was a pause.

'but what else should I call you?' Reiko asked.

'Soujiro should be fine.' 

'B-But I couldn't! It's so…' Reiko subsided as Madam had to turn away from them. Soujiro sighed.

'Look I don't care what you call me as long as it's not "Seta-sama".'

Reiko looked a bit lost. Soujiro guessed she'd never actually been _ordered_ to call someone by something that wasn't extremely polite before. Everyone else seemed resigned to it. 

'Try Soujiro-san for now.' Madam said. 

'Have you finished laughing?' Soujiro asked politely. She smiled.

'Yes, thankyou. Will Soujiro-san do?'

Soujiro nodded, and they both looked at Reiko, who shaped the words with her mouth first before saying them aloud.

'Soujiro…san…'

Soujiro relaxed, and then realised he hadn't been troubled by truths or deep, meaningful thought for a good five minutes. Was that good or was it bad? How would ti affect him? What did it tell him about himself?

'You're thinking too much again.' Madam said sharply.

'Sorry, Shiori-san.'

'Ne, Reiko-san.' Soujiro looked over at the girl. She had come into the room he had been given to put in the bedding and clean, since they hadn't prepared a room in advance. Soujiro was sitting outside, his legs over the edge of the balcony over the garden. 

'Hai, Soujiro-san?'

'What truth to you live by? I know I've asked you something similar before, but…'

Reiko nodded, and was silent for such a long time that Soujiro didn't think she was going to answer. 

'I don't really know, Soujiro-san. You see…oh, I don't suppose it would matter much. Perhaps you should talk to Madam. I haven't learnt much.'

'That's _why_ I'm asking you. You and I…' Soujiro shrugged, smiling, and looked back over the garden. Reiko was silent for a few more moments.

'I live by doing what my heart tells me to do, Soujiro-san. My heart and my head… what I feel is best and right. That way… I am me, I can be at peace, whether that path lets me live or die.'

'Waaaa….I'm so tiiiired…'

'You look exhausted, Kenji-san.'

'I _feel_ exhausted.' 

'What were you doing?'

'Mother and me were doing some business stuff.' 

'Oh, I see.'

'…niichan, what're you thinking about? You look really sad.'

'Do I?'

'Yes. You do.'

****

A/N: You know how I said I wrote this beforehand? Well, I got up to here and decided I needed to see whether it was worth continuing so here it is ^_^ I'll upload the chapters properly when I've really finished… sorry. this is kind of a draft, I guess…

Chibi


	4. Ame no Chi

A/N- Things are going to get a little sillier… not much, but some. Soujiro barely had a chance to grow up properly, after all, and he's friends with a young woman who has been a… er, slave to her master since she was seven…come _on_! And let's face it. Soujiro locked his feelings of hate and anger away that left happiness and humour to cover up things. Not then and not now does there serve for a complete lack of sense of humour, you know. He wasn't inhuman, and life is pretty funny at times.

Even if you only laugh because otherwise you'll cry.

Oh, and I don't know the names for the Japanese clothes and stuff, so the descriptions won't be with their actual names. I'm sorry, but on the upside most people will know what I'm talking about since I doubt many know the names, just like me. ^_^;;

PS- Thanks, Alexia ^_^ will not be so lazy, and if more than three people are reading this… REVIEW, DAMN YOU!! Ahem.

Language notes:

-bachan – aunt

Neesan/chan- older sister

Yokkata- thank goodness/I'm so happy/ relieved etc

**Chapter Four: Ame no Chi**

Bloody Rain 

'Hm…'

Kenji narrowed his eyes at his mother.

'What?'

Madam smiled at her son in a manner anyone but he and possibly Soujiro and Reiko would think was innocent.

' "What" what, dear?'

'You only "hm" like that when you're planning something.' Kenji said, putting down his brush. Madam sighed with feigned annoyance at her son's sharp skills of observation and put down the local newspaper.

'I was reading about Germany and the medical technology they have there.'

'And…'

'And I was also thinking about Reiko.' Madam said, watching her son's expression. 'We had a wonderful windfall with that deal last month.'

Kenji's expression remained frozen, until he bowed his head so his bangs cast his eyes into shadow.

'You want to send Rei-chan to Germany for treatment, mama?'

'I think it would be a good idea. While I know she loves us here, this house holds painful memories for her.'

'I know. She winces every time she passes Pa's room.' Kenji snarled. Madam kept her own expression neutral at the thought of her abusive late husband. His room… it still smelt of blood and old sex.  No one went in there anymore.

'It might do her some good.' Kenji said at last. 'But she's so shy…'

'She'll be all right.' Madam said. 'I know someone at Yokohama who's going to Germany soon. If we can get her safely there Rei-chan and Neesan will get along great!'

'…Kyoko-bachan?' Kenji stared. '_Your older sister_? Oh man, I feel sorry for Rei-chan.'

'Neesan isn't that bad, Kenji.'

'Yes. Says you. You weren't the one hung from the edge of the roof.'

'I did tell you not to make remarks about her waistline, but you wouldn't listen to me.'

'Whatever. But Mama…. We can't leave to go with her right now and-'

'We wouldn't be much use anyway. You're right.' Madam stood up gracefully and crossed the room to stand on the edge of the balcony, looking out at the garden in silence. The long pause was enough for Kenji's young yet sharp mind to jump onto the same tracks as his mother's. A grin that was not exactly what one would call innocent split across his face.

'You're gonna ask Soujiro-niichan.'

'Huh?!'

'You heard me. Don't play dumb.'

Soujiro wisely took a moment to gather his wits before he babbled like an idiot. Kenji and Souta were already on the edge of killing themselves with laughter. Madam, on the other had, merely regarded him with clever eyes and one arched eyebrow.

'Why me?' he managed. 'I mean…'

'Well, you did save us, Soujiro, once before.' Madam said, and cast a meaningful look at her children. Kenji rolled his eyes, but dragged Souta out of the room with him and shut the door.

'There's another reason?'

'Well, yes. You probably aren't aware of this since, you have only visited twice and only for one night a time, but you are somewhat of an anomaly.'

Soujiro's brow wrinkled.

'Huh?' he was saying that a lot around this house. Madam stood and crossed to the window.

'As you are aware Rei-chan was in this house, prior to his death, as a plaything for my husband. As a result of his cruel sense of lust her base instinct now is to avoid men, since not one she has met has not taken advantage of her. You are an exception to both taking advantage of her and her avoidance of you.'

Soujiro remained silent.

'I don't believe you are a young man who would ever sexually abuse a girl. Pushed to your breaking point you may kill-' Soujiro's head flew up '-but this does not particularly worry me as Reiko does not care about her life herself. What she needs is gentleness and protection, which she feels unconsciously she can find in you.' Madam laughed shortly. 'And I must admit she's also quite worried about you.'

'Worried?' Soujiro murmured. Sure, he could understand the wanting to hide behind someone who was stronger bit, but… worried about him? That was new. Oh no… not this again…he thought too much!

'Yes, you do.' Madam agreed, and giggled at his expression. 'Yes, you did say that aloud, Soujiro.' Her eyes were warm, her smile sincere as she turned to face him fully again.

'On the basis you are a strong fighter, and the only person Rei-chan trusts that can travel at the moment, I beg of you to take her to Yokohama safely. Onegai, Soujiro.'

Time slowed down. Soujiro stared at Madam's sincere expression. Curiosity was killing him. How could she trust him? How could a woman who must turn to others for help be so obviously strong and powerful? How could a fragile girl like Reiko continue on so happily but not trusting any but a select few? How did that work? How could that girl place her trust in him as much as Madam said?

Did she really worry? Reiko? Did she really worry? How could she, if it were true?

He'd called her Reiko. As if he had the right to that intimacy.

Madam smiled as Soujiro nodded, questions all over his face. She was reminded of her sons, so full of questions. The only problem was that Soujiro had other knowledge, experiences, to complicate things. Like a child he soaked up everything new, too uncertain and easily intrigued to cling to something with the iron grip of most adults, set in their ways. If you want to rebuild a brick house because it doesn't stand right you have to tear the whole thing down, because brick is just too hard to change. But… you can use the same bricks, Reiko had said, when Madam had mentioned this. Reiko had turned and smiled her sad, sweet smile.

_'You can use the same bricks.'_

_'But many will break, Rei-chan.'_

_'You can use new bricks with the old. If the old bricks that survive remember where they belong, then the new bricks will support them and the house will be stronger. And building will be easier, because you know where to place them. I think…you have to remember you make up a house of bricks. It is a house made of bricks, not simply a house.'_

'Don't forget to send letters. If you forget I'll hunt you down myself.' Kenji ordered. Reiko nodded and bowed.

'Of course, Kenji-sama.'

'Didn't we talk about that "sama" thing?' the child demanded, in a perfect imitation of Soujiro's voice. Reiko blinked, and let out a short, breathy laugh. For some reason Soujiro found the corners of his mouth trying to turn up at the sound.

'Sorry, Kenji…kun.'

'Much better. Oi, Soujiro-niichan! You'd better take good care of her!'

'I will.' Soujiro promised, adjusting his bag over his shoulder a bit. He looked at Reiko. 'Shall we go, Reiko-san?'

Reiko nodded and bowed once more to Madam and her two children. Souta had been crying, but Reiko and Madam had managed to comfort him. Then the girl adjusted her kimono so she could walk better, and trotted towards Soujiro, who turned towards the gate.

'Ja ne, Soujiro, Rei-chan!' Souta and Kenji shouted after them. 

'Genki de ne.' Madam's soft voice passed along the wind. 

~~~~~~~

'Maa… rain again!' Soujiro moaned, looking up at the grey sky through the raindrops as he shielded his eyes with his hand. He glanced behind him. Reiko jumped over a puddle; Soujiro could see why the westerners wore "boots". Sandals really weren't meant for cross-country excursions in the rain.

'Daijoubu, Reiko-san?' he asked. They'd been on the road for a week. Reiko had had one attack per day; she said it was the cold, and that it used to be a lot worse. Soujiro found himself worrying about her as opposed to being annoyed she slowed down the trip. He was doing this for her sake, after all. 

Funny. He'd never used that phrase before in his life. 

'Daijoubu.' Reiko said, jumping over another puddle and giggling a bit as her feet grazed the edge, splashing water. The corners of Soujiro's mouth tugged upwards. She took a few small steps over to where he was standing; close enough for Soujiro to hear her breathing was slightly laboured. He re-asked his question.

'No, no, I'm fine, Soujiro-san.'

They'd had a few run-ins with the "Seta-sama" thing too, but Soujiro was glad she seemed to have gotten over it now. He could deal with "Soujiro-san". 

 'Well, all right.' He said. 'Let's get under the trees for now and wait it out.'

Rain. He'd had to deal with the memories it brought back ever since Himura had "broken his seal". Sometimes, when he turned his head, he thought the droplets were red and thick, but it always turned out to be his imagination. He'd thought he had hated the rain, but now… now…

'Eep!'

Soujiro's head swung around.

'Reiko-san! Oh…' he glanced down. Reiko was giggling on the ground, her foot in a small ditch filled with water. She wiped her wet hair out of her eyes and smiled up at him, almost making Soujiro take a step back. Water made her hair go a bit wavy, and he had just noticed the way it made her travelling kimono cling to her skin…

'I'm sorry, Soujiro-san, I'm so clumsy.'

Soujiro shook himself.

'No, you're just not used to wandering in the forest, that's all. Here.' He leaned down, offering his hand. Reiko slid her small, pale hand into his without hesitation. Soujiro's eyes widened slightly as the rain drops splashed on their joined arms, the curious light of the sunset glancing off to make it look like-

-blood, covering his hands… again, in the rain. Soujiro jerked his hand free in panic, his breathing suddenly turning to pants. 

'Soujiro-san?' Reiko said, scrambling to her feet from where he had dropped her. Soujiro looked at his hands, trying to get himself under control. No. An illusion, again. Something born from..

'Soujiro-san?' Reiko-san said worriedly from in front of him, her hands clasped. Soujiro stared at her for a moment, and got a grip. 

'I'm all right. I just… thought saw something.'

Reiko breathed out.

'Yokkata…' she breathed. Soujiro stared at her again, and a thought, which had been trying to get his attention, gave the rest of his thoughts a good kick up the rear. 

'Ah, I dropped up in the mud!' Soujiro said, his hand flying to his forehead. 'I'm so sorry, Reiko-san!'

'Oh…' Reiko endeavoured to look at her own behind, never an easy thing to do, especially in a kimono. 'I didn't even think of that. It's all right, I'm not hurt.'

'But you're even wetter and now you're… quite dirty.' Soujiro pointed out, feeling an bit embarrassed to be looking at Reiko's behind. Several other thoughts of the kind he had previously been too occupied to entertain sniggered something. He hurriedly shoved them back in the box, but nevertheless agreed with one idea that had practical allusions. 

'We'll have to find somewhere to stay and get warm, Reiko-san; we'll both catch cold. You especially. Come on. Maa, it's getting heavier!'

They were still in the mountains; perhaps there was a cave and if they were lucky, perhaps a hot spring she could warm up in. Not that they really had anything to get dry with… he could make a fire, of course, but her clothes would still be wet so… Soujiro cut that thought off right there. He wondered, waiting for his heartbeat to stop filling his ears, if most teenage boys went through this stage and if so, when did it stop. Or was this something experienced all throughout life? 

'Soujiro-san, I think I see I cave.' Reiko said, interrupting his thoughts. 

'Really?' Soujiro asked with relief, though not just because of the chance to get out of the memory-filled rain. He followed her gaze, and saw the hole in the hillside.

'All right, let's go. I hope there aren't wolves or something there…'

'Uh, really?'

'Oh y-' Soujiro stopped. 'No, I was just joking.'

He could hear her sigh of relief over the rain, and almost grinned. He would have, had he not realised he was going to. 

Soujiro sneezed, sighed inwardly, and continued staring at the wall. He'd made Reiko undress; on the basis she was more fragile than he was. For all he knew she was completely naked, two metres behind him, in front of the fire. His clothes were sticking to his skin. He was cold. No, he was freezing. Soujiro didn't actually think these things; he didn't even really register them. They were, on the other hand, guessed by the female occupant of the cave who was not butt-naked as Soujiro was really trying not to imagine. She was in her under-dress, a simple, light fold-over modelled after a simple kimono for the purpose of warmth and, given the fragile nature of the opening in the kimono, modesty. Reiko didn't really understand Soujiro's panic about her undressing, but Madam had pulled her aside before she had left.

_"Rei-chan", she had said, "I think I should just warn you; Soujiro-kun has had a sheltered life, although not in the normal way the phrase means. He's probably never… been involved with a woman. Whereas you…"_

_"-am perfectly used to that kind of situation." Reiko said. Madam nodded._

_"Yes, so… try and take into consider his feelings, dear. He might get a bit edgy."_

Reiko stared at the flames. She was quite dry, and almost warm. Her  outer kimono was a different matter, but still… she crawled across the dry cave floor and touched Soujiro's shoulder. It was still soaked.

'Soujiro-san? Come and sit by the fire and get dry.'

'I'm all right-' ACHOO '- Reiko-san…' ACHOO

'Yes, Soujiro-san, and Souta-sama is _really_ Kenji-sama's pet monkey.' Reiko tugged at his sleeve. Soujiro's eyes widened at her comment and he was surprised enough to turned around at look at her, and faced her small, sweet, slow smile from point-blank range.

'Come on, Soujiro-san.' She told him, tugging at his sleeve again. 'You're catching cold.'

'Well-' Soujiro said, weakening. Reiko smiled at him. Soujiro gave up. 

ACHOO!

Soujiro sighed to himself. He was beginning to feel sorry for himself. Maybe because he'd never had a cold in his life, the gods were going to stick a real bad one on him now. Reiko patted his clothes; she'd made him take off his shirts. 

'Still wet.' She sighed, sitting next to him. Soujiro tried not the shirt nervously; all too aware there was quite a pretty if a bit thin girl in what was very nearly her underwear next to him. The rain was still coming down, heavier than that time…he didn't want to think about it.

'Reiko-san, do you miss Madam and her children?'

'A little bit,' Reiko said, after a short pause. 'But only when I think of them for a long time; I'm having fun travelling with you, Soujiro-san.'

Soujiro blinked.

'You are?'

Reiko nodded. For some reason Soujiro felt relieved. He sneezed again. Reiko glanced at him.

'Soujiro-san, I realise you might not be all right with this, and I sorry to unnerve you but-'

'What?' Soujiro asked. 

'Please lie down.' Reiko said, the tiniest bit a steel coming into her voice. For a brief moment Soujiro had a vision of Yumi, bossing around everyone. Something in Reiko's gentle, concerned voice was reminiscent of that command. And, like he did with Yumi, Soujiro smiled and held up his hands.

'Maa, I'm all right- ACHOO!'

'Soujiro-san… what did I say about Kenji's pet monkey?' Reiko asked. 'Onegai, you'll get very sick.'

Soujiro hesitated, and then lay down, edging a little closer to the fire. 

'What are you going to-' he stopped as Reiko lay down and put her arms and head on his chest, tucking her frail body up against his. She was warm…

'R-Reiko-san-'

'I'm just warming you, Soujiro-san. Just rest, please, you'll get sick.' She was almost pleading with him, now. Soujiro tried to relax, but his arm was trapped and- Reiko sat up suddenly and gently took his trapped arm, lay back down and pushed it over her shoulders. 

'Just sleep.' She told him, tapping his chest. 

'Y-yeah, right.' Soujiro managed to agree, as she snuggled up against him. He had to admit she was warming him up, and she was somehow… relaxing. He'd found that before, actually. Reiko was a soothing person. She was also, apparently, rather good at soothing when she meant to do it as well. His head felt fuzzy. Soujiro felt his eyes flutter closed, and Reiko shift slightly against him before unconsciousness swept in. 

'There you are… I never expected you to hide in a place like this…'

_He came closer, his greedy little eyes glimmering with malice-_

_If you're strong you live-_

_'Hey, where did you get that expensive-looking wakizashi?'_

If you're weak… 

_'Was it_ _in the rice shed? Gimme…'_

It rained blood.

Reiko listened as Soujiro's breathing became quick, like he was panicking or frightened. She could here his heartbeat speed up. She took her head off his chest and glanced outside; it was totally blank, except for the dying embers of the fire. She must have been dozing for longer than she'd thought. She'd meant to keep totally awake to keep an eye on Soujiro, but- Reiko kept as close as she could to the boy, reached over and tossed a small piece of wood on the fire for the flames to pick up. Soujiro was sweating- placing a hand against his forehead, she decided it wasn't all due to his mild fever.

'Soujiro-san..' she murmured, his the boy bit his lip in his sleep. 

It rained blood. Rich, red, almost black in the night. Then the rain, the real water rain came back. It washed the red rain from his cheeks, but…water touched his skin, and ti wasn't from the rain. 

_'Are you crying?' Shishio-san said from where he leant on the storehouse door. Soujiro looked up at the clouds through his soaked bangs, feeling the warmth of his tears against the cold of the rain and then…he "knew" they weren't tears anymore. He wouldn't be crying because…_

_'No, sir.'_

_The strong live. He lived… he breathed, standing in pools of blood.._

Reiko's eyes widened as Soujiro's teeth dug so hard into his lip blood trickled down his chin. Reaching across, she brushed it away and placed her hand on his shoulder.

'Soujiro-san.' She said, shaking him, but he wouldn't wake up. It only made him worse. 

'Soujiro-san..' there hadn't been a woman here before. Soujiro glanced at Shishio-san, to see if he would kill her, but… Shishio-san faded from his sight.

_'Shishio-san!' Soujiro cried, running to the spot where the man had stood. 'Shishio-san!'_

_But now he was all alone. But that was all right, because… because…_

_'Soujiro-san.' Soujiro looked up, holding tight onto his wakizashi, his truth. The woman was really pretty, he noticed, half-dressed, but she didn't look cold. _

_'Who are you?' he asked. She didn't answer, sitting down on the storehouse steps, patting the ground next to her. Little Soujiro found himself sitting where she directed. _

_'Why are you crying?' she asked._

_'I wasn't crying!' Soujiro smiled, but at her comment, his eyes stung again. Why? What was wrong with him?_

_'I try and do what my heart tells me.' She whispered, looking at the rain. Soujiro's blue eyes widened. 'Whether I live or die… I can be happy that way.'_

_'You're weak.' Soujiro said. She smiled._

_'Yes, I am. But is being weak… really that bad?'_

_Soujiro shook, her words reaching right into his soul._

_'Soujiro-san? Is it?'_

Reiko took Soujiro's clenched fist in her small hands and gently pried his fingernails out of his palm, slipping her hand in to protect his skin. She gave the boy a gently hug

'Wake up, Soujiro-san…' she murmured. After a moment, she realised his heartbeat had calmed down. She let herself relax, and his heartbeat slowed down again. She smiled faintly. At least it seemed she could help, after all…


	5. Ie no Renga

V.I.A.N: Okay people today's Very Important Author's Note is Very Important because updates are gonna be getting a lot slower b/c of school, which I have starting in about three days. This story does not, in fact, have that much left (about three, four chapters I think… but because the updates will be sporadic, if you don't wanna miss a chap as it goes up maybe it'd be a good idea to put it on alert or something. Anyway. ^_^ I'm going to see X-Men 2 tonight… yay, Nightcrawler! He was cool in the comics. I got the idea for a scene in here from the Old Archives at ****, a VERY COOL online comic by Shady. She restarted it recently, but if you have time, the old archives are cool! I love the manga. Check it out. Spread the word. Make them have anime conventions in Australia. Well, spread the word anyway…

"You're a black belt in martial arts, but a white belt with dealing with people. You have to train for that too, except you have to train in the city, not on a mountain somewhere. Without hurting people, and being hurt by others, you can never become a person who gets along well with people."

-Souma Shigure, Fruits Basket. 

Anata wa hitorijyanai: you're not alone

Chapter 5: Ie no Renga

A House of Bricks

Inside the cave, a quite attractive, if a bit thin, girl pressed herself closer to the sleeping swordsman. His head had stopped tossing, but his teeth were digging into his lip. Reiko gripped his hand tighter, feeling some of his terror. It radiated off him… he was just… so scared. 

'I don't know… I don't know! I… I didn't want to… I didn't WANT to kill people!'

Soujiro's eyes widened. He'd… he'd said it. But if he didn't want to kill people, and he didn't do that, then wouldn't that make him weak?

'Soujiro-san.' The girl whispered, laying her hand atop his on the damp stone. 'Lots of people don't want to kill. They live their lives, never having killed another human. And yes, they are weak… but only, Soujiro-san, in the sense of martial arts.'

'But…' Soujiro whispered, looking down at her rain-spotted hand covering his. 'But I… I am strong! I learnt martial arts!'

'Soujiro… do you remember, how Yumi-san and Sagara Sanosuke used to call you a naïve kid?'

Soujiro's black head flew up, his eyes wide. The girl placed two fingers on his lips, preventing him from asking the obvious question. 

'It is because…you had not lived. Living by the "strongest" truth is a very lonely place to be. Because you were a child, you never had the conflict of interests most people have as they grow up. The people you call weak… are they really, Soujiro? When you are one who knows little except how to wield a sword? Could you live like they do?'

'But they're so vulnerable!' Soujiro protested, anger rising up like floodwater. His fury just made the girl tilt her head, and she smiled slightly. 

'Soujiro… are you **afraid**?'

Shock ripped through Soujiro's body, and he flew to his feet, the wakizashi swinging around in a deadly arc that sopped just before the girl's pale neck. His lips thinned into a hard line.

'I am not afraid.' He said, in a shaking voice. 'I- who are you?! Why are you telling me this?! I was… I was finding my own-'

'But I am you.' The girl smiled, changing position so she could kneel in her kimono, with her hands on his shoulders. She didn't seem frightened at all. 'I am you, Soujiro… I am just the thoughts you were afraid to think. I am the tiny part of you that you shut away. The part that grew up. I am the part of you you hated back then, and I am the part of you you fear now, because I can really prove your ideals wrong, make you more confused.'

'You… look like someone…' Familiarity rolled over her, but…

'Yes… I had to take a form you would listen to, because you never listened to me, as you.'

'Reiko.' Soujiro breathed, and the Not-Reiko-Really form smiled a different smile, from his or Reiko's… slow, knowing… the smile of one that watched but rarely spoke. The image slipped two fingers under the boy's chin, lifting it just so slightly. Hot breath brushed past Soujiro's cheek when it next spoke. Soujiro couldn't seem to move.

'I will always be here. I am you… never forget me again, or you will never find it. Our truth…'

Soft lips brushed Soujiro's, and then this rain-and-blood-soaked world seemed to disappeared above him, like he was falling down a long, black hole…

Soujiro's eyes flew open, and he sat up hurriedly. 

'Soujiro-san?'

Soujiro turned around. Reiko was kneeling behind him, her hands clasped in her lap. She looked tired… and worried.

'Are you all right?'

Soujiro stared at her, waiting for the dream to fade away, like so many dreams. It didn't. 

'What?' he asked her.

'You… seemed to be having a nightmare.' Reiko said, her voice almost a whisper. Soujiro felt a stab of guilt, realising he'd made her think she was doing something unwanted. 

'I'm… not sure what it was…' Soujiro murmured, looking at her. She… him… it… the bit that had said he was him, had used her words. I live by my heart… he was frightened? Frightened of living as so many knew it?

Well… Soujiro almost smiled, bitterly. That may be true.

And he had admitted it again, he realised, and somewhere, that voice whispered,

'Good.'

He looked at Reiko again; slim, frightened, worried, tired and clearly with her health regressing. A strange new determination rose up.

'I'm all right now, Reiko-san. I'm sorry for worrying you like that… did I keep you awake?' But his words sounded too stiff, too polite. He always distanced himself like that. 

'It's.. no trouble.' Reiko said quietly. Soujiro leaned over to her and looked closely at her face. She was definitely more pale, tired-looking than he remembered. 

'Reiko-san, if you're going to make yourself sick, please don't worry about me.' He said gently. 

'But-' Soujiro placed two fingers on her lips, as his self in her form had done to him. 

'Go to sleep. Get some rest.' He told her firmly. 'You an use my shoulder.'

Reiko nodded dumbly as he took his fingers away, and curled up next to him again, resting her head on his shoulder as he had told her. Soujiro leaned back against the wall, and smiled slightly as the half-asleep girl automatically edged closer to him, snuggling up against his side. It was… kind of nice. She smelled good, too. Soujiro could feel his own amusement at himself. It was a very strange feeling; he wondered if this was what it was like to have a split personality. 

No, his inner voice said. Remember, I am the you that was locked away. I am the you that thought what you thought were 'bad' thoughts, ones that would make you weak. But in reality, I am the other half of your personality that thought about the different sides of things, watched the world around me with an open mind. But you must grow enough to catch up to me, before we can become one again. 

'Finally.' Soujiro groaned, reaching the top of the hill and staring down at the sparkling blue ocean port beyond it. Yokohama… he could take the time to appreciate the view later, but it was just so hot! The weather had taken a totally unreasonable turn, in his opinion, and now it was hotter than summer. It wasn't summer, Soujiro considered, and therefore it had no right to be this hot. The trees were probably getting very confused. Soujiro collapsed rather theatrically against a tree and looked down the path; Reiko-san had stopped to buy some odango from a stall they had passed on the way up, and rest. She had told Soujiro to go on ahead and check out the view. Odango… Soujiro rested his head on the smooth bark of the tree, treasuring the shade. He was starving. He watched Reiko come up the hill, her sandals gently tapping against the occasional pebble in the road. The hotter weather suited her, Soujiro mused. She seemed happier when it was warmer, and she had seemed a lot better since yesterday morning, when the clouds had disappeared. She was tucking her small purse back into her bag with one slender hand, the other carefully holding the three sticks she had bought. Finally she reached him, kneeling down on the grass and presenting him with two odango sticks.

'Hai.' She smiled. Soujiro took them.

'Thankyou.' He said, biting into the first sauce-covered ball. Reiko, more delicately, began eating her own, looking at the seaside city.

'It's beautiful, isn't it.' She murmured. Soujiro followed her gaze, and swallowed.

'Yeah.' He agreed, and started on the next ball. Reiko giggled, and Soujiro said, 'What?'

Except it came out more as "whaf" because he had his mouth full. Reiko's grin widened, and Soujiro managed to stop himself from grinning along with her. He kept the expression of utter, innocent confusion on his face. 

'You…' Reiko began, and then shook her head. 'Oh, it's not important.'

Soujiro finished his mouthful and lazily waved the stick at her.

'Tell me, Reiko-san.' He said teasingly. The sun was affecting him too, it seemed. 

'You're just so cute.' Reiko said, trying to stop herself from smiling. Soujiro stared at her in honest astonishment, and she giggled again. 

'…oh.' He said, not really sure how to respond to that. Part of him argued there wasn't actually anything good about a guy over eight being called "cute", but the rest of him felt somewhat… pleased. 

'Have I offended you?' Reiko said, looking worried again. Soujiro shook his head.

'No, no! I've just never been called cute before, that's all.' 

'Oh, I see.' Reiko said, smiling beautifully. Half an hour later, they stood up and continued walking down the path to Yokohama. Soujiro fell behind Reiko a little bit, and watched her walk carefully down the hill in her faded travelling kimono, pushing the strands of dark hair away as the breeze swept them into her eyes. Soujiro glanced at the harbour, and felt an odd pang in his chest. 

What…

'Wow.' Soujiro said, looking around the busy seaport in amazement and jumping out of the way of a man carrying a huge, very-heavy looking box. 'It's pretty… and really busy!'

'It is.' Reiko agreed, gazing up at a Western-style building. 'I suppose… there will be lots of buildings like this in Germany.'

It was the first time she had mentioned the country in a while; Soujiro looked at her. She looked.. sad. 

'What's wrong?' he asked. 'Don't you want to go to Germany, Reiko-san?'

'Well… I suppose I'm just a bit scared, that's all.' Reiko said, turning around to look at him. Soujiro felt a start. She admitted fear without a second thought… 

'Why?' he asked.

'Well, it's a new country, a new language…' Reiko said. 'Although I am glad I am going with Madam's sister. I think my nervousness is fairly normal.'

'People always get nervous when they're going somewhere new?' Soujiro asked. I suppose… what she's doing… isn't actually all that different from what I'm doing. Except my journey is inside of myself. Reiko smiled.

'Nearly always, I expect. I think… you'd have to be someone very special, not to get nervous at all when you're going somewhere you know almost nothing about.'

And Soujiro felt just a bit better, looking at that smile, listening to the words. Something else occurred.

'But… how are we suppose to find Kyoko-san in this city?!'

'Oh… I had not thought of that… Madam didn't give me an address…what about you?'

'I think it got wet…' Soujiro moaned, pulling a piece of paper out of his sleeve and holding it up. The ink was… a blob. Reiko looked at the rather pathetic piece of paper, and solemnly took it from him. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. Like she was putting a lot of effort into not smiling, Soujiro realised with some suspicion.

'Do you think this is funny?' he demanded. Reiko glanced at his expression, and burst into rich gurgles of laughter. Soujiro blinked in bewilderment, and then fought his own laughter. 

'G-Gomen-' Reiko managed, between her giggles.

'Stop apologising.' Soujiro said severely, but the effect was spoiled but the fact his voice kept skipping because he was trying not to laugh.

Soujiro knocked on the door and glanced behind him. Reiko stood there demurely, her eyes on her feet. Soujiro rolled his eyes up to the sky as he reached behind him and grabbed her hand, pulling him up next to him.

'You're the important one.' He told her. Reiko blushed. It was just a faint pink on her cheeks, but- Soujiro glanced down. He was still holding her hand. He let it go quickly, muttering an apology, and the door swung open. Reiko and Soujiro stopped looking in opposite directions and focussed on the door. The woman standing in it was about Soujiro's height and was wearing a kimono, less extravagant than Madam's but still obviously expensive. Wealthy family in general, I guess, Soujiro mused. The woman's sharp, dark eyes flicked between them, her mouth tight. Soujiro and Reiko both had to fight the urge to cringe, feeling like they had been caught doing something bad. The woman's glare suggested that whatever they did, it was wrong. And then the woman grinned broadly and flung her arms around Soujiro's neck, almost knocking him off his feet

'Whoaaa!'

'Oh, you got here safely! I'm so happy! I was kind of worried, but you're both fine! And you've looked after Rei-chan as well! May I call you Rei-chan? I may? Thankyou so much! Oh, you're such a cute girl, but you're so thin! We'll have to fix that! And you too young man, your name is Soujiro, right? Come in, come in, don't stand there like strangers!'

Herded in by the whirlwind of energy, Soujiro barely managed to think that in fact they were total strangers, before he was firmly seated in a chair with a cup of tea in front of him. Reiko was looking a bit breathless, thought he had to say he felt the same. 

'Well, I'm Kyoko Tsukimura, Shiori's older sister.' Kyoko announced. 'Please call me Kyoko. Shiori sent me a letter telling me you were coming. How was your trip? Did you get caught in the rain?'

'Um… yes?' Soujiro ventured, and got a grip on himself. As he related their trip in general, Reiko timidly sipped the western tea, and helped herself to one of the creamy-yellow coloured biscuits on the plate in the middle of the table. After a little while, she gingerly reached out and took another. Then she stopped, realising both Kyoko and Soujiro were looking at her; Kyoko looked faintly amused. Soujiro looked a bit surprised. She flushed, and hurriedly put the biscuit back.

'Take it, dear.' Kyoko grinned. 'You need it. You like shortbread?'

Reiko nodded.

'We had some at Madam's house once.' Reiko said. 'An English businessman bought them as a gift. I've never had Western tea before, though.'

'You haven't? I love it.' Kyoko smiled. 'What about you, Soujiro?'

'I have had some, occasionally.' Soujiro admitted. 'It's been a while, though.'

'Well then, help yourselves.' Kyoko said. 'There's plenty. Rei-chan, our ship leaves tomorrow morning… both of you see that you get enough rest, all right? Soujiro-kun, you'll see us off, won't you?'

'Huh? Well…' there it was again, the pain through his chest. It was getting worse. 'Of course.'

Reiko smiled to herself, but Soujiro and Kyoko saw it. Kyoko's eyes softened. She had sharp eyes and a brain she knew how to use, much like her sister. But she also knew goodbyes were never easy.

Soujiro had never felt so depressed on seeing the rising sun before. He sat up in bed and heard the port, always busy, in the distance, and someone cooking in the kitchen down the hall. And then… there was a dull pain in his chest. Today Reiko-san was leaving for Germany. No one knew when she would come back. Even if she did… what were the chances of him seeing her again?

Soujiro shook his head. He could deal with it. He got up and got dressed, but the pain was still there. He found himself unable to really concentrate on anything much; his thoughts kept straying back to the future absence of a certain smile in his life. It was silly, but the pain wouldn't leave him. As they walked down to the docks, it got to a point where Soujiro caught himself thinking about just dropping the bags he had been volunteered to carry and running. After realising he was thinking this, he almost threw the thought away, but then examined it further because he'd never had a feeling like that before. 

Why didn't he want to say goodbye? Because saying "goodbye" meant… that it was "goodbye". Acknowledge the parting. A farewell, another "genki de ne". He didn't think he could stand the pain. He almost smiled, bitterly. What a strange thought that had been…

'We're here.' Kyoko said, and Soujiro blinked. They were. He glazed up at the huge ship, feeling irrationally angry towards it. He didn't understand why… but then again, perhaps he did, he was just… frightened of it. He numbly put down the bags, and a porter, who was given the room information by Kyoko as Reiko and Soujiro silently stared up at the ship, took them away. Kyoko looked at the pair, and smiled sadly. This wasn't going to be easy. She had knew she no idea of what had gone on between them, what one had done for the other or vice versa. She could only see two people who knew that parting was for the best, but…

There was always that "but", followed by silence. Kyoko smiled at them, rasing her voice to get their attention. 

'Well then, I'll wait on the deck for you, Rei-chan. It was lovely to meet you, Soujiro. My son will be looking after my house for me while I am away; I've told him you're welcome there at any time.'

'Thankyou, Kyoko-san.' Soujiro said, genuinely grateful. Not because he thought he would need the help, but because… well, you wouldn't find many people so quick to be warm to a swordsman. And he was just… always surprised. Perhaps it was a family trait- Kyoko whacked the back of his head.

' "Kyoko"!' she snapped. 'I said, "Kyoko"! No "san"!'

'Arigatou, Kyoko.' Soujiro amended. The woman smiled, and trotted up the steps to the deck of the ship. Soujiro and Reiko smiled to themselves as they heard the boisterous woman greet the sailors. Finally Reiko turned to fully face him, and bowed deeply. Soujiro's heart sank. He hadn't been aware it had risen, but now it felt like there was a lump of lead in his chest. 

'Thankyou so much for all of your help.' Reiko said. 'I will never be able to repay your kindness.'

'It's…no trouble.' Soujiro said, fighting the feeling inside of him. Reiko stood up. She was being so… so formal… then again, perhaps it was best… parting with a business partner… was much easier than a friend, after all… even his thoughts sounded pained. 

'Soujiro-san, I'm sorry, but I would like to ask one more favour of you.' She said quietly, nervously. Soujiro forced a smile.

'Sure, what is it?'

'Can I… give you a hug? Please?' 

Soujiro stared at her, and after a very long moment have a slow, stunned nod. Reiko stepped close and wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her head in his chest.

'Thankyou.' She whispered, her voice choked. Soujiro's eyes widened. She wasn't… crying, was she? Her fingers gripped the material on his shoulders, and Soujiro felt his own arms wrap around her shoulders.

'No, thankyou, Reiko.' He whispered in her ear. His hands tightened. He didn't want to let her go. He hated the idea; letting her go met seeing her face turn away from him, up the ramp, away on the ocean, leaving him alone. Alone to find his truth… hitori. Alone.

'I.. I don't really… know what exactly it is you want to find.' She murmured, her voice muffled. 'But… I'll always be with you, somehow. Anata wa… hitorijyanai…'

Soujiro's eyes widened, and his teeth clenched as he restrained himself from tightening his grip on her. Finally, he forced himself away from her, and looked at her face. Gently, he raised a hand and lifted the tears off her cheek.

'Thankyou. And… neither are you.' He said, somehow getting the words out. It was like he was watching himself from a distance… everything seemed so surreal, somehow. And she smiled, a real, warm smile, just for him, nodded.

'Madam said if you stop by you can read my letters.'

'I'll do that.' Soujiro said, and Reiko hugged him again, very tightly, and turned away at last, almost running up the stairs. Soujiro knew why. He'd have to do the same, or he'd never be able to leave.

What a strange… feeling. He stared at the cobbles. There were droplets on them, turning the light grey into dark. There had been a sparkle in the air when she turned- she had been crying? Something swelled up inside him, and he turned to look up at the ship, as the horn rang out over the docks.

'Reiko!' he yelled. She leaned over the side. 'Get better quickly!'

'Good luck, Soujiro!' she called back, waving. The ship pulled back from the docks. Kyoko appeared beside her, and waved a lacy handkerchief.

'Goodbye, Sou-chan!!!'

Soujiro paused.

' "Sou-chan"?' he repeated to himself. He could see Reiko's somehow both horrified and amused expression, and saw Kyoko nudge the girl. Reiko shook her head and then shrugged, turning back to wave at him.

'See you, Sou-chan!'

Soujiro laughed, feeling heat in his cheeks. Then the ship drifted out of sight. Soujiro watched it until it had totally disappeared, and then, like the others wishing their loved ones goodbye, he turned around, and left. 

So… "Sou-chan"… what do we do now?

We…we keep on building that house of bricks. 

I've never had a nickname before. "Sou-chan". I don't think I should tell Madam, Kenji and Souta about that one…


	6. Zettai Warusenai

A/N: Yay! The re-appearance of Kenji and Souta! I love these two kids. They're just so… CUTE!! Do they remind anyone else of Trunks and Goten from Dragon Ball Z? They remind me of those two. School's back in… gods, that is just so _depressing_… exams in five weeks. What do they think we are?! 

VERY IMPORTANT: Now, for the next chapter, people… do you want more like this one, following the adventures of Soujiro and Reiko? Or just Soujiro? Or Reiko, if the fancy takes you. I have in mind a sort of like an extra- a separate adventure, you know? For Soujiro in some little town somewhere…let me know what you think and any ideas ^_^v. Because if not, then stay tuned for the final chapter (possibly two chapters, but I'm not sure. I'll have to see when I write it.) of Shades of Grey! And if you DON'T REVIEW THEN YOU DON'T GET A SAY, SO THERE!

I believe in fanservice. When it suits me, of course, but this is _fun_, but I can't drag this story out too much, obviously. It would ruin it.

Shoji- rice paper door/s

Oyasumi- good night. Only said when going to bed.

"Soujiro-san, genki desuka? Watashi wa genki desu." – "Dear Soujiro, are you well? I'm fine."

~yori- from~

Chapter 6:  Zettai Wasurenai

I'll Never Forget

'- yours, Reiko.' Madam lowered the letter and leaned back. Kenji took the letter off his mother and his clever brown eyes flicked through the writing again, as if confirming everything. He smiled, and passed the letter to his younger brother.

'She sounds happy enough.'

'Reiko never had an opportunity to feel that it was all right for her to be adventurous during her time with us.' Madam said, watching Souta grind his way through the kanji with the determination of a rock. 

'Speaking of adventure,' Kenji said, standing up and wandering over the door opening out onto the veranda. He slid one open. 'I wonder if Soujiro-niichan will come soon?'

Madam raised an eyebrow at her eldest son's back, and glanced at Souta, who was still concentrating on the kanji with a frown. One finger traced the lines. Soujiro… he had visited after he had dropped Reiko off at Yokohama, to let the family know she was safe. And they hadn't seen or heard from him in four years. Madam was a little surprised her sons still remembered the boy; children had a way of breezing past the people they encountered in their lives more than they got attached to them. Especially in the space of two days. Soujiro… seemed to have made quite an impression. Madam had to admit she herself had found herself unusually attached to the boy. She would have liked him to come back, so she knew he was all right. She shook her head. Soujiro had some serious issues to work himself through; issues that most people learnt without trying before they reached his age, or never learnt at all. Wishing he would just "drop in" seemed rather selfish.

'Kenji, Souta, why don't you two take the rest of the day off and go into town?' Madam suggested. 'You can take-'

'Mum.' Kenji said, rolling his eyes. 'I'm old enough to take care of both me and Souta, okay? Come on, kiddo.'

'I'm not a kid!' Souta protested, shutting the door after them. Madam smiled warmly, and picked up Reiko's letter again. The girl seemed to be getting much better… and if she was any judge, Kyoko had been helping her with her writing. Kyoko's letter, four years ago, had mentioned the goodbyes… Madam shook her head. There was no point in getting uselessly romantic. The Europeans had a saying, one of her business associates who was more open-minded when it came to a woman running the business, had told her. It was "absence makes the heart grow fonder". This was, Madam knew and to borrow an Expression, a load of bull. It was romantic nonsense, just like happy endings.

Madam put down the paper and glanced out at the garden. It would be so nice, though, if that romantic nonsense could be real…

'Kenji, don't walk so fast!' Souta complained, grabbing the sleeve of his brother's shirt. 'I've got shorter legs than you, niichan- niichan?' Souta felt the fabric slip past his fingers, and his brother disappeared between the crowd, not noticing. 'Niichan! Come back, I can't see you! Kenji! Come back!'

Souta trembled. 

'N-niichan?'

He'd never been alone in the marketplace before. Everything seemed so big, so alien. The buildings and people all loomed up above him, blocking out the sun. Voices boomed and rolled around him, and- someone grabbed the back of his shirt.

'Well, what do we have here? You're the youngest son of the Madam, aren't you?'

Souta turned and took a shaky step back, unable to make out the face of the human mountain behind him, still gripping his shirt. Souta felt it twist across his body. His voice became stuck.

'N-' he choked. 

'Come on, kid. Your brother doesn't love you, I saw how he just ran off like that.' 

Souta couldn't take another step back, and the people just kept going past, grey, noticing. Terror glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth.

'Your tone isn't exactly _convincing_, you know.'

The voice wasn't threatening. It could have been making a comment over tea and riceballs. It was smooth, almost cheerful, but there was something… Souta staggered as the grip on his shirt loosened, and the mountain turned around. 

'What's it to you?'

'What I don't understand it why you guys can't come up with some more original lines.' The voice went on. The crowd, without apparently altering their tracks, began to move in a way that left a circle around the three of them. Souta tripped over his own feet and scrambled to the edge of the circle, where spectators were now gathering. Souta craned to have a look at his rescuer… his eyes widened. 

'What's this?' the young man asked, looking around. 'I wasn't planning to make such a scene, but I suppose that _was_ just a set-up for street theatre…'

'Shut up!' the man growled. The boy opened his eyes and fixed the man with an icy blue gaze. There was a small _chink._ As one man, everyone who could looked at the boy's left side. His thumb had pushed the first inch of his sword free. Memories began to boil over the crowd, and several people backed away in a hurry. 

The huge man growled. 'I was conducting business!'

'With a child younger than ten?' the young man asked, looking amused. 

'I don't appreciate being interrupted!' the huge man yelled, charging forward with one huge meaty fist raised. The boy gracefully took a step to the side, watching amiably as the man's fist thudded into the ground in front of him.

'Are you drunk? No one sober would be stupid enough to attack an armed man, surely.'

'I think you're giving humans a bit too much credit, lad.' Someone muttered from the sidelines. The swordsman laughed.

'Yes, perhaps I am. Oops, you missed me again.' He added, sliding out of the way of another charge. Then his feet skidded to a halt, steadying the swordsman. His right hand raised slightly as he watched the huge man yell in frustration and round on him again.

'Stop running, midget!'

'I'm not running.' The boy whispered, gripping the hilt of his sword. 'You are the one who should be _running_.'

There was a flash of light, a strange twist as sunlight glinted off the blade. There was a collective held breath as the huge man hit the ground. The swordsman glanced at his sword, and smiled faintly. 

'Oh. I remembered to turn the blade over this time.'

'Niichan!' Souta yelled, covering the distance between them with two bounds. Soujiro blinked as the child flung his arms around him. 'Yay! Thankyou for saving me from that guy! He was really scary!'

I'm the one holding the _sword_, Soujiro thought, and he thinks that drunken idiot is scary?

'What happened, Souta? Are you here by yourself?' Soujiro asked, pulling the boy off him. Souta shook his head, his big eyes becoming watery.

'No, I was with Kenji-niichan, but…'

'You got separated in the crowd,' Soujiro said understandingly. Souta nodded. 'Well, don't worry Souta. That happens all the time.'

'It… it doesn't mean niichan doesn't like me anymore?'

'Of course not.' Soujiro said, lifting the boy onto his shoulders. 'Now, I'm not very tall, but perhaps you can see him. Can you see Kenji?'

'NIICHAAAAN!' Souta yelled. Soujiro winced. 'KEEEENJIIIII! IT'S MEEE!  WHERE ARE YOOOOOU? KEEEENJIIII!'

'Uh…' Soujiro muttered, trying to ignore the ringing in his ears. Yet, despite the discomfort, he found himself trying not to laugh as Souta continued yelling. For some reason… there was a warm feeling here. Not like he got anywhere else.

'MOTHER!'

Madam blinked, hearing the shoji slam back several rooms down. 

'MOTHER!' Kenji yelled again, sounding much closer. Another shoji slammed back. Madam managed to put down her tea before the shoji facing the inner house was slammed back, revealing three people where there should have been two. Madam's eyes widened.

'Soujiro?' she murmured. The boy hadn't changed much at all. Perhaps he had grown taller, just a little, but other than that… 'You haven't changed.' She smiled. The young swordsman laughed, and put his hand behind his head.

'Oh, really? You're looking well, Shiori-san.'

'So do you,' Madam said, standing up and padding across the floor to him. She took his hands in hers absently noticing the hard sword calluses on his palms. 'But you look a little tired, Soujiro. Why don't you join us for a few days? The boys would love your company and you have quite a bit of reading to do.'

'Reading?' Soujiro asked, and followed Madam's glance at a small chest in the corner of the room. Soujiro's lips drew upwards a little more, but something about the smile seemed a little sad. 'Oh, of course.'

'Come on, lunch should be ready soon and I want to show you the house!' Souta said, tugging at the older boy's hands. 'Come on, come on!'

'Souta, be gentle.' Madam scolded, following her children at a more sedate pace as they dragged Soujiro along behind them. 'Soujiro's probably very tired.'

'Aa, daijoubu Shiori-san-' Soujiro said, smiling. 

'I'll just go and ask the cook to prepare for one more for lunch.' Madam said, leaving them at a corner. Soujiro reflected on this as the energetic Souta dragged him down the hall. Why did they always try and feed him? Was he too thin or something?

When it was too late to be called night and too early to be called the morning, Soujiro looked up at a tap on the shoji of his room.

'Yes?' he asked. Kenji slid open the door.

'Shouldn't you go to sleep soon, Soujiro?' the boy asked. 'It's really late.'

Soujiro glanced at the small pile of letters next to him, and then at the lamp he was using to read by. He looked again at the letter in his hand.

'I'll be all right, Kenji.' He said finally, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep until he found out what the deal was with this "Kurt" that kept popping up. Reiko completely failed to mention, most inconsiderately in his opinion, just what her relationship with this man was. Kenji nodded

'I'll tell Souta not to wake you up.'

'Thanks.' Soujiro grinned. 'Oyasumi.'

'Oyasumi,' Kenji agreed, and looked at the letters. 'Or perhaps not.' He added. Soujiro laughed quietly, and looked back at the letter. He was unaccustomed to the… jealousy? That the mention of this Kurt character stirred in him. Reiko said he had been helpful during her now very rare attacks. Soujiro was relatively sure this Kurt man couldn't protect Reiko like her could.

Soujiro's eyes widened slightly, and then softened as he stared at the wall. He laughed softly at himself, shaking his head. Then he kept on reading.

Reiko laid down her pen and absently rubbed her hand. 

'Finished?' Kyoko asked, putting down a cup of tea in front of the girl. 'That was a long letter.'

'Yes,' Reiko said. 'Madam and the boys told me Soujiro-san stopped by and read my letters last month.'

'Oh really?' Kyoko asked, raising her eyebrows. 'Sou-chan did?'

Reiko's cheeks flushed slightly at the older woman's use of the nickname she had come up with for the boy, and nodded.

'Well, well…' Kyoko mused. The world was full of surprises. She had expected the boy especially to move on. Perhaps she had underestimated the bond the two had forged between them. She had never actually asked Reiko about it, but maybe she should…

No. If Rei-chan hadn't told her, it was something she wanted to keep private, even if she didn't realise she was keeping it to herself. Kyoko made a mental note to tell that pompous, overbearing Kurt whatever-his-name-was about a certain young man back in Japan. It would make life more interesting, at any rate. Kyoko was fairly sure, she mused as she left the room, that on some level Reiko was aware of the man's attempts to seduce her. It was just that the rest of her personality got in the way. The part that liked to believe the best of people… and also the hope that perhaps, if she just acted normal and like she didn't know, he'd get over it. Reiko was too nice to say his intentions were unwanted and at any rate, she had never been in a position to say such a thing. That wasn't how she'd been raised. Being sick in a foreign country had not helped the girl's self-assertion.

Kyoko, on the other had, had no such qualms. The woman interlinked her fingers and stretched her hands out at arms' length, and grinned. It was not a particularly nice grin.

"Soujiro-san, genki desuka? Watashi wa genki desu. The weather here is lovely and warm right now. What is it like over there? Kenji-san told me you weren't eating properly and then almost died because you tried some blowfish. While I would like to believe Kenji-san does not lie, I feel this statement is him being mischievous. However, if it is true, please look after yourself and refuse all suspicious-looking seafood. I generally find that anything offered by someone with a grin cannot be trusted."

Soujiro bit down on his finger to stop himself from laughing aloud. This had been written a little more than a year beforehand, but still… Soujiro reminded himself to have a word to Kenji, when the kid had a free moment. He was up to his ears in trade agreements at the moment. Soujiro read a few more months' letters before coming to the previous month. The usual greeting, some information abut the weather, some celebration in the city, and Kyoko…

"Today Kyoko behaved in a rather peculiar manner. It was actually quite embarrassing. We went to the doctor as usual, but we met Kurt on the way. He has been acting a little strange lately, like he isn't sure how to treat me anymore. Sometimes he seems afraid, and he gives Kyoko very nervous looks. I do not understand this."

Soujiro did, and had to stop himself from laughing a laugh that did not really insinuate that what he had found amusing could be told to children under ten years of age without them having a strong grip on how the world worked with adults. He had written a letter to Kyoko when he had stopped in Yokohama for a day or two… he'd written one to Reiko of course, but Kyoko's had also contained a small query and an insinuated request. Reiko's writing about the woman's actions was quite strange; you could never tell if the girl knew Kyoko was scaring Kurt off or not. Soujiro kept on reading.

"Anyway, Kurt offered to accompany me to the doctor's office to save Kyoko the trouble since she is not as young as she used to be."

Soujiro winced. Kyoko's "PS" on Reiko's last letter had instructed him to call her "Kyoko-neechan". Calling someone like that "old" in a roundabout way…

"Kyoko got very angry at him; she slapped him in the middle of the street and demanded to know what his mother had taught him about manners! And then she marched me off, saying at the top of her voice how she couldn't allow me, a poor and innocent girl, to be alone with such a man! I could hear some other gentlemen behind us talking about Kurt suspiciously."

Soujiro was feeling rather smug as he stared at the wall. He reminded himself to find something nice to send Kyoko the next time he was in a city.

"The doctor said I am doing well, but it will still be several years before I am healed well enough for me to make the trip back home."

Soujiro nodded to himself. The trip to Germany had not been kind to Reiko. Kyoko had been the only one writing to Shiori-san for about a year, and her letters indicated Reiko had very nearly died. Soujiro found himself tensing up just thinking about it. 

"Kyoko said you were interested in what Kurt was doing, so I will tell you more about the time we spend together in my next letters. I don't know if we will see him that much anymore, since Kyoko seemed to have scared him off very well. She seems quite pleased with herself. I have to say that he did seem a little smothering. He treats me like I am a paper crane, made from beautiful origami, meant for viewing. I did tell him this once; he seemed puzzled that I made it sound as if I didn't like the idea. I have to go now; Kyoko is nagging at me to go to bed. I hope I can see you again. Genki de ne, Reiko yori."

 Soujiro smiled. She always said those last three sentences. 

'Genki de ne, Reiko-ch…san.' Soujiro murmured to himself, sliding the letter into the chest and flipping the latch shut. 


	7. Tegami no Sekai

A/N: I am SO sorry this took so long to get out. I have even more work this term than I did last term. I have exams starting in a few days so I doubt the next chapter will be up faster than this one was. -_-;;; I am really sorry about this. Please don't yell at me.

_Soujiro-san e:_ to Soujiro

_Aniki_: another way of saying "older brother".

_Jaa, kore de… genki de ne. Reiko-yori_: Well, that's enough. Stay well, from Reiko.

Chapter Seven: Tegami no Sekai

_A World of Letters_

Reiko carefully ran her fingers along the crease of the letter and slipped it into the already addressed envelope. She put that letter to the side and picked up another sheet of paper, and regarded it for a while. She then took up her ink pen, and wrote carefully on the top of the page:

_Soujiro-san e_

As the pen moved in graceful lines, relating what she had the say, Reiko's mind paid no attention to the strokes that shaped the characters. With her dark hair undone and tumbling around her shoulders, the hairpin next to her on the desk, her eyes indicated she was reliving what she was telling the young swordsman- if, indeed, he still was one. In her heart Reiko doubted Soujiro would ever really give up using his sword. There was too much guilt there. What for, Reiko accepted she would probably never know, and in truth, didn't really care. What she cared about was whether Soujiro-san found his truth, whatever that was. 

_Today, Kyoko-neechan and I went shopping inside the city…_

It had started off ordinary enough. The car ride had been nice. It was summer now; beautifully warm, with a few white clouds speckled across the sky. The warm breeze had brushed past the faces of the two women. 

'I think I'll get some new hairpins,' Kyoko was saying. Reiko turned away from the window to look at the older woman. 'Perhaps something in blue this time. What about you, Rei-chan?'

'I'm not sure,' Reiko said, still unaccustomed to voicing her own wants or needs. Kyoko rolled her eyes.

'Rei-chan…'

'Yes, yes, I know.' Reiko sighed. 'My dress is getting a little worn…'

'Which one?'

'The red one…'

'What? No!' Kyoko wailed. 'You look gorgeous in that!'

'Yes, that's why it's worn.' Reiko said. 'You always make me wear it.'

Kyoko looked suspiciously at Reiko. Sometimes she wondered if the girl was developing a sense of humour. 

'Well, we'll get you a new one,' the woman said, waving a hand airily. Her eyes began to sparkle. 'And you can wear it when Soujiro-san comes to whisk you away when we arrive back in Yokohama!'

A sweatdrop slid down Reiko's forehead.

'Um… Kyoko-san-'

'Neechan!' Kyoko shouted. 'I'm not "san"!'

'-neechan,' Reiko quickly amended. Kyoko subsided. 'I don't think Soujiro-san is going to-'

'Don't be stupid.' Kyoko said. 'Sou-chan, if not at the port, will run into you fairly soon afterwards.'

She'd sent him a very succinct letter on the matter. Including death threat. Reiko looked sceptical, but nodded. Kyoko saw the small flicker of hope. It was strange how quickly one got attached to some people. The problem with hope was that it can keep keep you going; but if your wish doesn't come true, that same shattered hope can break everything you have and are.

Soujiro found himself in a small town, about the same size as the one that Madam and her sons lived in. It seemed fairly run down; the people here seemed tired. Not unhappy, as such, just tired. Life must be fairly difficult out here, Soujiro mused. Perhaps the rice doesn't grow well or something. 

He decided not so stop here. The people looked like they had enough troubles themselves, without having some stranger walk in on them. As he passed though the town, his sharp eyes also noticed something strange.

They paid absolutely no attention to his sword, just like in Madam's town. Suspicion began to bloom; perhaps here they also had someone who lorded it over everyone, isolated the town. Japan had bigger problems at the moment than to worry about some tiny town that barely produced enough for itself. As if to confirm his suspicions, a pair of men, armed, swaggered down the street towards him. The others in the street automatically began to walk on the edges of the road. The men looked out of place in the navy-blue uniform they wore. Soujiro recognised in them the street thugs and drunks that were like cockroaches; wherever you go, they're there, and seemingly impossible to get rid of. And most of these were oppurtunistic, which had no doubt resulted in men like the two before him. 

'Hey, shrimp.' One of them leered. Soujiro suppressed a sigh, and smiled up at them.

'Yes, sir?'

The smell of sake hit his nostrils. Drunk as well. Well, that was no real surprise. Soujiro had never been able to drink sake. He was afraid of what it could do to a man… he's seen in first off, after all, at the age of eight years old…

'What're you doin' in a place like this?'

Soujiro was mildly puzzled. He'd thought that was a line used on women, but perhaps there were some crucial differences. The lack of the term "sweet thing" for one. This came as somewhat of a relief. Kamatari's jokes all those years ago were one thing. He didn't need to be hit on by some drunken thug with a sword who was under orders to kill people like him. 

'Just passing through.' Soujiro smiled. As with most drunks, the man's mood changed like lightning.

'Why're you SMILING?!' he bellowed, raising a fist. Soujiro didn't flinch, which angered the man more. 

'Stop it!' the other man yelled, and this time the other raised fist did lash out. Soujiro took the punch easily, though it didn't look like it. The force made him take a few steps back, but no one around had seen enough battles to notice the way his feet moved. Soujiro raised his head, the angry red mark on his cheek flaming.

_Maybe… your true self…_

The pen paused in it's movements across the page. Reiko seemed to shrug, and kept on writing.

When they had reached the street, full of shops, Kyoko and Reiko went to the coffee shop for a quiet drink to further plan their day. There was a cry from just beyond the café; one belonging to a child. Reiko quickly stood up, following several other people towards the sound. Kyoko put down her spoon and hurried after Reiko.

It was a cat. It was stuck up a tree, insofar as a cat _could_ be stuck up a tree. Kyoko said they could in fact get themselves down. It was just that they had an inferiority complex, so they needed to see the humans that fed and looked after them running around in a panic. 

'That seems rather selfish.' Reiko commented, looking at the grey cat that was standing on one of the highest branches in the tree. 

'Well, no one ever said cats were generous.' Kyoko replied. 'A bit like humans, really. Oh, here we go.'

A young man stepped forward, giving his jacket to the little girl to hold. The young man was, Reiko realised, Kurt. A small part of her she was just a little bit scared of started laughing rather nastily. Kurt climbed the tree and ignored the cat's hisses and scratches, and got back down again. He gave the cat to the little girl, who beamed happily and carried the poor animal off via a clumsy grip under its forelegs. Kyoko felt an odd pang of pity. 

'Is your arm all right, Kurt?' Reiko asked, amid the applause. Kyoko smacked her forehead, wishing she'd remembered to tell the girl to curb her caring instincts at least until everyone else had left. Kurt looked at her in surprise. 

Well, it looked so much like surprise that Kyoko seriously doubted that it was. Oh, what she would give to smack that all-too-handsome face of that absolute-

'Reiko!' he smiled. A few women in the crowd sighed, recognising Young Love when they saw it. And between such a perfectly matched couple, too; the young, wealthy businessman, and the young, beautiful and wealthy foreigner Reiko, who had won the hearts of many in the town with her caring and submissive nature. While normally love was frowned upon, here, between two acceptable people, it was beautiful. 

'It's just a few scratches, Miss Reiko.' Kurt said. Kyoko felt like screaming as Reiko pulled out her handkerchief. Anyone who didn't know the girl very well would be giggling at the sheer romanticism of it all. Reiko tied the handkerchief around Kurt's arm and passed him his jacket as well. 

'Thankyou.' Kurt said, with a tender smile. Kyoko began wondering how she could prove herself innocent of homicide. 

'That's all right,' Reiko said. 

'Miss Reiko? There is something I'd like to ask you.'

The noise Kyoko made can only be described as '-_gck'_

'What is it?' Reiko asked. 

'Would you accept an offer to unite yourself with me?'

Reiko stared at him.

'Would you marry me?' Kurt translated.

Reiko continued to stare. Her lessons in manners and etiquette from both countries completely failed her. The audience began to applaud, obviously taking Reiko's shock to be one of endearing surprise and awe at the gracious offer. 

'_Hold everything_!' Kyoko bellowed. It was a voice of command. Kyoko marched up to the couple and glared up at Kurt.

'_What_,' she snapped, 'do you think you are doing?'

_Maybe… your true self…_

Soujiro didn't seem to move, but the sword swished past in a clumsy arc. The young man's right hand twitched. 

_..doesn't want to live at the expense of others_

Soujiro gripped the hilt of his sword. Sunlight rippled through the air as the blade moved and turned. The two bodies of the men hit the ground behind Soujiro, who looked at his sword. Reversed, but…

Soujiro's hand shook. What if he forgot? Wouldn't it be better just to let them kill him?

He wasn't afraid of dying; it was just that… _he just didn't want to._

Soujiro sheathed his sword. He'd killed so many, and he hadn't wanted to. He would never be able to save as many as he had killed with his sword; not in this life, not in this Meiji world. It was getting much harder to travel with a sword at his side. He ran a hand across his forehead. He regretted killing, all those years, yes. But, a part of him argued, he hadn't known what he was doing wasn't really what he wanted. 

But even that didn't excuse his crimes. But… he looked at his sword. Was that was what he was afraid of?

But it was the only thing certain in this world. Soujiro's grip tightened briefly. 

'TASUKETE!' the scream hit Soujiro's ears and sent a wave of coldness right through his body. His head flew up. 'DAREKA! TASUKETE!'

Soujiro disappeared, and re-appeared in front of the children, fighting down the urge to laugh as they crashed into him. Oh, this was too ironic. 

He grinned up at the three men chasing them, and saw the dead faces again. One, two, three, all in a row above him…

'Niisan-' the girl whispered, looking up at him. Soujiro knew both of them were crying, but he didn't look at them. He pushed them to one side. Was he going to do what no one had done for him?

Soujiro didn't know if the world deserved it. Now, he looked at the children. Twins, from the look of them, no more than eight years old. They were terrified, covered in bruises and dirt. Soujiro's shoulders began to shake as his hand slid up to cover his eyes. His lips parted, and a breathy laugh escaped. The three men's weapons- a sword, two sticks- were lowered slightly in surprise, but the sword raised again quickly.

'What are you laughing at?!'

Soujiro's laughter filled the alleyway. The little boy looked closely at the young man, and saw a teardrop trickle down his cheek. His grip on his sister tightened. 

'He's nuts, aniki.' One of the attackers said, looking at the man with the sword. 'Let's just kill him as well.'

'Right! HYAAAAH!'

They charged, and Soujiro continued to laugh and cry through his fingers. The children hugged each other, eyes wide in terror. Just before the sword came down- Soujiro's hand dropped. A few watery sparkles flew through the air.

'_DON'T TOUCH THEM_!'

'Miss Kyoko?' Kurt asked, his smile becoming a little fixed. 

'You heard me,' Kyoko said, putting a protective arm around Reiko. 

'I want to marry Miss Reiko,' Kurt said. 'It would be in her best interests, and you know that.'

Kyoko's eyes narrowed as he continued. 

'Not only will she be able to have the medical treatment she needs, but she will be financially secure for the rest of her life and able to live in comfort. She will be happy and able to fulfil her duty as a woman with me.'

'Duty as a-' Kyoko shook her head. 'You're referring to children, of course.'

Reiko pressed herself back against Kyoko's arm, though no one else could see the movement. Kyoko could feel the fear beginning to radiate off the girl. 

'You make it sound like you can control her emotions.'

'To have a secure husband, children and a comfortable household? What else would a woman want?'

The worst thing, Kyoko thought, somehow managing to hold her tongue, was that he really had no idea. The whole concept of a woman being more than an accessory was completely beyond the man. 

'I didn't want to tell you this,' she ground out. Reiko's fingernails dug into her arm, and Kyoko's mind turned over. No, she couldn't tell him that. Change to melodrama.

'She's already engaged to someone back in Japan.'

'_What_?' 

Reiko stared at Kyoko, who shrugged. Kurt looked scandalised. 

'Why did you not say anything?!' he said to Reiko. 

'I… didn't think your intentions towards me were serious.' Reiko whispered. 

'Fool! Why else would I be spending so much time around you?'

Kyoko winced. This was going to get ugly. She was surprised when Reiko, her hands shaking, gripped the material of her dress and looked up at Kurt.

'I thought you might simply be a friend. I see that is not the case.'

Kurt snorted. His ego was hurt; Kyoko knew there was very little she could do now to make him hold his tongue without risking being shut out of the town. As a woman she was bound by the unspoken laws… oh, for the freedom of a seaport back home…

'Were you not educated in the duty of a woman?' he sneered. 

'I was,' Reiko said, a look coming into her eyes that Kyoko did not like, 'but it was a little different from you believe it is. Let's go, Kyoko-neesan.'

'Right.' Kyoko said, hurrying after the girl. Kyoko looked at Reiko's expression as the crowd parted before them with shocked whispers.

'Um… Rei-chan?'

'I want to see Soujiro again.' Reiko whispered, her voice hoarse. Her bangs covered her eyes. Kyoko nodded.

Yeah. In Japan they had the duty of a woman too. But at least in Reiko's case, in Japan… she had people who would never forgive anyone for making her follow it. And anyway… Reiko… could never have children of her own…. But that topic was far too depressing, and Kyoko had never been a woman who was stay upset or angry for a long time. 

'You didn't say "Soujiro-san",' she grinned evilly. Reiko's eyes widened, and she looked at the older woman's expression. She began to blush.

'Ky-Kyoko-san, it's not-'

'Oh, it's EXACTLY what I think!' Kyoko cackled. 'BWAHAHAHA!'

'STOP IT!' the little girl screamed. There was a flash of light as Soujiro faltered in mid-swing, and then carried the stroke through. Three bodies hit the ground, and Soujiro's sandals skidded to a halt. The girl was shaking against her brother, her eyes wide and tearful.

'Don't…' she mumbled. 'They're… our family…'

Soujiro's eyes were wide as he slowly stood up. His lips twitched.

'They're not dead.' Her brother said, standing up from an examination of the bodies. 'They were…. going to kill us.' He looked up at Soujiro, who nodded. '…I…. thankyou… but… what do we do now? If we go back, they'll kill us…'

_Are you coming with me?_

_Yeah.._

Soujiro sheathed his sword.

'I know a place you can stay, at least for a while.' He said, not looking at them. 'I understand… you want to stay with your family. But do you want to die?'

It was a blunt way of putting it, but Soujiro knew bluntness was the only way to talk to children, for them to remember the words. He still remembered them, after all. The silence behind him told him the children were remembering the past terror. What would he have done? 

_I may be weak… but I prefer the way things are._

_If someone had saved me, what would I have done? If I hadn't had the wakizashi.._

'We…' the boy said, struggling to get the words out. Soujiro looked over his shoulder. 'We… want to stay but… we don't want to die, either…'

'You'll have to choose.'

'I don't know.' the boy whispered. 'They're all the family we have. What would you do?' he looked up at Soujiro. Soujiro almost took a step back, and then laughed quietly, looking up at the storm clouds growing overhead. There was always rain. 

'When I was your age? I…' Soujiro trailed off. 'I don't want you to die.' He resumed. He wanted to know there was a happy ending, somewhere, for people like him. 

'The people here don't love you. They don't think of you as family, even if you do. As someone older than you… I think…'

_As someone older than you? _The little girl thought. _What a strange way of putting it…I wonder if he…._

Her grip tightened on her brother's sleeves, just as his little jaw set.

'Where will you take us, niisan?'

Soujiro started walking. 

'Yokohama. There's a house there I know of…'

_Jaa, kore de… genki de ne._

_Reiko-yori._

Soujiro stopped staring at the scenery outside of Madam's house, and looked back at the letter in his hand. The black ink letters were neat, careful as always. A smile twitched across his lips. He'd have to write and tell her about the twins, Ryoko and Kaji. She'd love to hear about the time Kaji walked into that hot spring inn they had passed on the way back…the _women's_ side. Soujiro got up and slid open the door, and promptly crashed into Kenji, who was sprinting down the side corridor.

'ITAI!' they both yelped, reeling back.

'Soujiro, watch where you're going!' Kenji snapped. 'You're getting clumsy in your old age!'

'Who's old?' Soujiro asked, feigning offence. The two young men stared at each other, and then burst out laughing. Soujiro helped Kenji back onto his feet. 

'When're you heading off?' the young master asked.

'Tomorrow morning,' Soujiro said. 'I was just going to say goodbye to Souta, before he falls asleep.'

Kenji nodded, and they parted ways. Soujiro stopped halfway down the corridor, and glanced at the garden on his right. He wondered when Reiko would be coming back. He felt an odd pain in his chest, and his hand clenched a little on the fabric. He laughed, softly to himself.

'Baka…' he mumbled, and continued his search for Souta. 

Several weeks later:

_Reiko-chan e_

Soujiro paused, looking at the opening. He frowned, and picked up another piece of paper, raising a hand to brush the old one aside and into the rubbish bin. He stopped, and stared at the opening for a much longer time. He carefully put down the fresh piece of paper, and picked up his pen again, continuing from where he had left off.

_I've had some adventures in the last few months I think you'll love hearing about…_

Some time afterwards, he signed the letter and began to fold it up. He blinked as childish sniggers sounded from over his shoulder. He turned around. Kaji and Ryoko were grinning at him from half a metre away.

'Sooo….' Ryoko giggled.

'Who's "Reiko-chan", Sou-chan?' Kaji grinned evilly. Soujiro felt a sudden urge to back away.

'Um…'

'BWAHAHAHA!'

_~ Soujiro-yori_

Reiko managed to get her giggles under control long enough for her to pass the letter to Kyoko. The women didn't get past the first line.

' "Reiko- CHAN"?!' 


	8. Shinsoko Kara

A/N: WAAAAI! Exams are finally over! YESYESYESYESYESYES!! 

…another four months of hell to go, and I am _so_ outta here. I don't know what I am going to do, but I sure as hell am NOT going to do anything involving EDUCATION! Bleagh! Unfortunately I don't have enough money to go on a trip anywhere 'cause I don't have time for a job….I wanna go to an anime convention! We don't have them over here! Why doesn't anyone PAY me for writing?! WAAAH! 

… -_-; oh yeah… what plot twist? Apparently there was a plot twist. I created a plot twist? o.0

 Enjoy the chapter, once again my sincerest apologies for the overly late update.

_Takoyak_i: a kind of dough mixed with octopus and covered in a sweet sauce. Usually found rolled into balls, stuck on a stick. Sounds disgusting, but it's apparently delicious. I've never heard of anyone not liking it, but I've never had any myself.

_Shine_: pronounced shi-neh. "die."

_Obi_- the belt around the kimono.

**Shinsoko Kara…**

From the Bottom of My Heart…

Soujiro knocked on the gate, and waited patiently until one of the servants opened it. The young man tensed, immediately noticing Soujiro's sword.

'Yes, sir?' he asked. Swords automatically warranted a "sir".

'I'm an old friend of the family,' Soujiro smiled. 'Could you tell them Soujiro's here?'

The young man looked him up and down as discreetly as possible. Soujiro was well aware that he hadn't had a bath in a while, his clothes were ripped and worn in a few places, and he'd had to patch a bit too, on his sleeve. 

'I'll be right back, sir.' He said, and shut the door in Soujiro's face. The wanderer sighed, and glanced at his sword. He'd had to take it out because of a couple of bandits, but in these times it was usually too difficult to travel carrying a sword. Twenty years since the ban, and swords were gradually fading out of everyday life. Everyday life was something Soujiro spent ninety percent of his time in, and so he had fallen into the habit of wrapping the sword in material and carrying it over his shoulder with his pack, like the kendo students. It fooled most people; Soujiro had had some young woman accuse him of lying when he'd told her how old he was. He had a baby face, according to Shiori-san. Although, she had added, his hair needed cutting and more frequent baths would make a nice change.

'SOUJIRO!' The door slammed open, but Soujiro was ready for the human catapult that thudded into his chest, only mildly winding him. 

'Hullo, Souta. You've grown a lot since I last saw you.'

'Five months is a long time,' Souta said, a shade reproachfully. Soujiro smiled gently, and ruffled the child's hair. 

'Not as long as you might think, kiddo. How is everyone?'

'Fine!' Souta grinned. 'And GUESS WHAT?!'

'What?' Soujiro asked obediently, letting himself be dragging into the grounds and across to the house. Madam and Kenji had just materialised outside of the front door; Soujiro suddenly realised that Madam seemed to have aged a little, and wondered why he had never noticed before. 

'Rei-neechan's coming back in just TWO MONTHS!'

'She wrote not long ago,' Madam said, sliding the letter across the table to Soujiro, who quickly unfolded it. Unlike her normal letters, it was short and clear. He looked at Madam questioningly.

'She had a longer letter sent before that; they must have had confirmation of the tickets afterwards.'

Soujiro nodded, and read.

Minasan e 

_Konnichiwa. I hope you are all well. Today we got the tickets for our return trip home to Japan, after all this time. We will arrive on the 19th of April, if all goes well.  I hope this is not inconveniencing you in any way. _

_Soujiro, I hope Kaji and Ryoko are well. _

_Reiko-yori. _

Soujiro shook his head, chuckling a little.

'She still hopes not to inconvenience anyone…'

'How are the children?' Madam asked. 'Kaji-kun and Ryoko-chan.'

'They were brilliant, the last time I saw them,' Soujiro said, folding the letter again. 'Kaji says he wants to be a sailor, but Ryoko says that's a cover-up for his cooking talent and he actually wants to be a chef.'

'And Ryoko-chan?'

'She'd like to be a teacher.' Soujiro said. 'Reading and writing, you know. She's got a natural talent for them.'

'That sounds wonderful,' Madam said, and coughed. Soujiro frowned.

'What's wrong, Shiori-san?'

'Nothing's wrong, Soujiro.' Madam smiled, and Soujiro was once again struck by the lines that experience and life had etched into her face these recent years. 'Everyone who lives must grow old eventually, if they are not killed beforehand.'

Soujiro felt some heavy weight in his chest.

'Are you going to be all right?' he checked. 'You're not sick or anything, right?'

Shiori smiled, and patted his cheek.

'No, Soujiro. Remember, it's natural. Don't look so sad.'

Soujiro nodded, but couldn't seem to smile properly for quite a while. Madam told him about her sons' recent exploits, and then gave him Reiko's letters to read. Just before he left the room, Madam stopped him.

'Yes?' he asked. Madam didn't look at him.

'Soujiro, I want you to promise me something.'

'Anything, Shiori-san.' Soujiro said, feeling a rush of warmth and sympathy for this strong woman, now passing everything she had clung to for her own life onto her sons. And she was strong. Just like Reiko-chan, and the children back in Yokohama, determinedly practising the many characters of the Japanese language. 

'Take care of Rei-chan, the boys, Kaji and Ryoko.' _When I am gone._ The words hung in the air, heavy with responsibility. Soujiro felt only a slight of the twinge of panic he was so used to when dealing with others. He didn't want to hurt other people, but…

'I'll never be able to take your place, Shiori-san,' he said softly, bowing. Unsummoned, he felt a watery sting in his eyes. 'But I will do my best to look after all of them.'

He could hear the smile in her voice.

'Thankyou, Soujiro.'

'Yay! Reiko-chan's coming back!'

Soujiro raised an eyebrow to himself, watching the children bounce across the room. Even though they'd known about Reiko for only a short time, Ryoko in particular had grown very fond of her, and wrote her little notes on occasion. Kaji seemed slightly more suspicious, but Soujiro could understand than. How could you trust someone you hadn't seen in nearly ten years? 

'But wait…' Ryoko stopped spinning her embarrassed brother around. 'Sou-chan, two months isn't really long enough for you to go somewhere and come back, is it? I thought you said you wanted to go to Hokkaido.'

'I did,' Soujiro said, smiling. 'But I think…I'm a bit tired of wandering. I thought I might stay here with you two children, if that's all right.'

Ryoko and Kaji stared at him.

'_If that's all_…YAY!' Ryoko squealed, flinging her arms around his neck and snuggling up to him. 'I get to spend time with niichan!'

Soujiro ruffled the girl's long hair and looked at Kaji, who as failing to keep a wide grin off his face. 

'That's _brilliant_, aniki.' 

'How long today?'

'One month and two days,' Kenji said, and glared at his brother over a pile of paperwork. 'Don't you have something you're supposed to be doing?'

'Nope,' Souta said happily. Kenji fought down unreasonable anger at the fact his brother wasn't working while he was. There was just something very irritating about that. 

'Go find something,' he said irritably, slamming another page down in front of him. Souta poked his tongue out, but wandered out of the room anyway. Kenji rubbed his forehead. He needed a holiday. Still, he'd got a week off when Reiko-neechan arrived. He was really looking forward to it. He couldn't imagine her having aged… she was still there, etched in his memory. Frail and delicate, like a dark sakura. Easily broken, easily loved, never forgotten. Her feathery dark hair, eyes that were even darker, as soft as velvet. A gentle, healing touch, and her sad, sweet smile… Kenji smiled at the papers beneath his elbows, not seeing them. He missed her like hell. He wondered if Soujiro's heart hurt worse.

Soujiro felt like jumping up and down on the spot until he collapsed into an exhausted heap. He was restless and bored and impatient. He looked out across the sea, and shifted feet edgily. 

'Hurry up,' he whispered, feeling the cool spring breeze whip across his cheeks.

'Niichan! Niichan!'

Soujiro turned around, and Ryoko and Kaji skidded to a halt in front of him. Or tried to, at least. The pavement was a bit slippery from the cold and water n general, so what actually happened was that the children keeled over backwards and frantically back-pedalled, trying to regain their footing before they ran out of ground and hit the ocean a metre and a half ahead. Soujiro grabbed the necks of their clothes, and pulled them back again.

'All right?' he checked, picking up a spilt packet of takoyaki and slipping it back into the bag Ryoko was carrying, and then took it from her. 

'Yup,' Ryoko beamed, taking his hand. She ran her hand over the sword calluses, and then looked up at him. 'Ne.'

'Mm?'

'Where's your sword, niichan?'

Soujiro's blue eyes softened, and he ruffled her hair. 

'I don't need it.' He said. Ryoko and Kaji looked at him in surprise, but Soujiro didn't offer any further explanation of why his sword was wrapped up, carefully under his bed. The exact reason, perhaps, he would never be able to put into words…. 

'Ne,' Kaji said. Soujiro and he boy's twin sister looked at him. 'How long until neechan comes home?'

"Home", noted Soujiro with amusement. 

'Two weeks and four days,' he murmured. Kaji looked at him dryly, and put his hands behind his head.

'This is what we call "obsession", aniki.' 

'Who's obsessed?!' Soujiro stared. Kaji smirked at him.

'You are.'

'I am not,' Soujiro sniffed, beginning to stride off, back the way to Kyoko's house. Kaji sniggered. He had a snigger that defined sniggers; it managed to combine obnoxious self-confidence, an indication of the extreme ignorance of the sniggeree, and the general suggestion that the world was there to be… well, sniggered at. It was really annoying.

'Kaji, shut up.' Ryoko said, hugging Soujiro's arm. 

'Make me.'

Ryoko looked around for something to hit him with.

'Fresh air!' Kenji sighed, stretching. He looked over at the sleeping Souta, snoring under his blanket. A large and, it has to be said, rather immature grin spread over Kenji's face. He loved this holiday. It was sad that his mother was not longer well enough to make the moderately long trip to Yokohama to meet Rei-chan, but it was best for her to stay home. Long years of mental and physical abuse could not be expected to prolong a person's life… 

Kenji knelt down by his brother and ripped off the blanket, yelling,

'WAAAAAKE UUUUUP SOOOUTAAAA!'

'EAAAAAGH!' Souta screamed, sitting bolt upright and looking around frantically. 'What? What is it?'

There was a small silence.

'…you…' Souta growled, beginning to look like he was seriously contemplating strangling his brother with the blanket. 

'Haaaaaai?' Kenji said sweetly, batting his eyelashes and looking as innocent as he possibly could, which is kind of disturbing on the face of a fully-grown young man. 

'SHIII-NEEE!' Souta shouted, tackling his brother to the ground. He was slightly built, but so was Kenji, and he'd had more time to spare than his brother. Much of that time had been spent with Soujiro, or watching the guards. Souta was good at copying things.

'Ow! Ow! Okay, that hurts! Ow!' 

Souta tightened his arm around his brother's neck and pressed his palm harder against the back of his skull, cutting on his air.

'What do you say?' he prompted angelically. 

'Sorry?' Kenji wheezed, feeling pathetic. He was getting beat up by his younger brother. Who was six years younger. He spent the rest of the day feeling rather depressed. 

Ryoko opened the door, and stared up at the two young men looking back at her in some surprise. One was only about two years older than her, but the other one was clearly grown up. They looked very, very familiar, but she couldn't quite – the oldest was the one who spoke first.

'Hallo, Ryoko-chan.'

'Kenji-san!' Ryoko beamed, flinging the door open wide. 'You're early! Sou-niichan didn't think you'd arrive for another day or so!'

'Yes, well.' Souta grumbled. 'He got me up early every day so we'd have a few extra hours.'

Ryoko led them inside, and shut the door behind them.

'That's good, I'm glad you're both here.'

'You've grown a lot in two years, Ryoko-chan,' Kenji observed, noting his younger brother's unusual quietness in silence. 

'Thankyou, Kenji-san.' Ryoko said, getting some tea out of the cupboard as the two boys sat down. 'Niichan and Kaji went out to the harbour for some fish for lunch, but they should be back any-'

'TADAIMA!' Kaji bellowed.

'Ow.'

'Sorry, aniki- eh?' Kaji and Souta stopped, staring at the two boys in the living room. Souta jumped up.

'Soujiro!'

'Souta, Kenji!' Soujiro stared, a grin coming onto his face as he ruffled Souta's hair. 'It's great to see you- you got here early, though. Kenji?'

'I made him get up early.' Kenji sniggered, waving a hand at Souta. 'He's not happy with me.'

'Early? You mean like before lunch?' Soujiro grinned, and got an elbow in his stomach from subject of discussion, who was just the right height. 

'Very funny,' Souta said sulkily, as Kaji and Kenji sniggered at him. 

'Now, now,' Ryoko soothed, putting the tray of tea and onigiri down on the table. Souta stared at them hungrily, but a lifetime of training in table manners kicked in, preventing him from pouncing. 'Souta-kun stays up late, so it's only right he gets up late as well.'

'Souta-_kun_?' Kaji demanded. Ryoko blinked. 

'He's our friend, isn't he, niichan?'

'Well, yeah, but, I mean-' Kaji mumbled, struggling with various conceptions of girl-boy relationships. Kenji and Soujiro grinned at each other over the children's heads. Souta was still staring at the riceballs and tea. Kenji wondered if he was going to start drooling. Ryoko noticed, and broke off from arguing with her brother to present the boy with his mug and a riceball. Souta almost snatched them, eating a whole riceball in two mouthfuls. Everyone stared at him, and he said, with his mouth full,

'Thankyou, Ryoko-san,' or at least, that was what Soujiro assumed it was. Ryoko giggled, and passed him another one.

'I'm glad you like them, Souta-kun.'

'Mmph.' Souta agreed, through a mouthful of rice. Kenji rolled his eyes heavenward. Kaji scowled and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, but the frown was gently smoothed away as his sister offered him the same as she had Souta.

'You know who she reminds me of?' Kenji said, as Soujiro sat down next to him.

'Reiko,' Soujiro said, and didn't add anything onto her name, as if he had the right to that intimacy. Kenji smiled. 

'Yeah. Those two kids have come along way, Soujiro.'

'I know. I'm proud of them.' Soujiro said. 

'Can I ask… why you took them in, though? Didn't it interfere-?'

'Well, I thought it might, at first.' Soujiro said, as Kaji took a swing at Souta and the other boy dodged, grinning. 'But I wanted to do it, and so… I did, and I think its part of my wandering. I don't regret anything I've done in the last ten years. Souta, put Kaji down.'

'Niichan! Don't bite Souta-kun's arm! _Niichan_!'

Kyoko put down her book with a sigh, but she was smiling. She got off her bunk and adjusted her obi, and slid her feet into her sandals. She patted out, up the stairs and out onto the deck. Reiko was there at the bows, looking with excited brown eyes towards the approaching dock. It had appeared on the horizon at dawn. 

'Rei-chan.' She smiled. Reiko blinked, and looked around. She smiled.

'Kyoko-neechan. Did you finished your book?'

'Almost,' Kyoko smiled, and bounced up and down a bit. 'I'm too excited! Look, you can see the people waiting for us o the docks!'

Like it was at the docks, indeed, activity was rapidly picking up on the ship. Luggage was being brought up, and people were materialising everywhere to line the bows of the ship as it slewed in to port. 

'Which one do you think is Sou-chan?' Kyoko asked, squinting. Reiko didn't reply, struggling with her inner feelings. She wanted him to be there. She desperately, really, really wanted him to be there, waiting for her. But then again, if he wasn't, she knew her hope would cause her so much pain… but she couldn't quell it. Her heart rate was picking up, and she knew it.

Kyoko watched Reiko's eyes sparkle with hope, but the girl was biting her lip, trying not to smile, as if she knew a false hope would shatter her heart. Still- Kyoko looked at the port, narrowed her eyes. She couldn't see the boy anywhere, but there was an awful lot of people…

Soujiro couldn't see Reiko anywhere, but there was an awful lot of people lining the bows of the boat, waving, jumping up and down. A woman in front of him was in tears as she waved to a young man on the deck. 

'Where is she?' Ryoko asked, from her position on one of his shoulders. 

'I don't know, I can't see her.' Soujiro said. 'Kenji?'

'Nope,' the young man said, frowning. The group held their place, careful not to get swept along as the crowd surged and erupted with cheers as the boat was docked. Flowers and tears flew through the air; screams of happiness erupted all among them. Soujiro felt oddly detached, but a strange, sad quiet settled over him as he watched the passengers disembark. Men, women and children, of all different ages and nationalities. Some looked happy, others look tired; one or two stern and business like, lost among the cries of welcome for loved ones. None of them looked like Reiko. Soujiro felt his heart grow cold in his chest as his heart rate dropped. 

'Where is she?' Souta wondered aloud, frown where he was standing on a barrel with Kaji. They'd had a fight about it before Ryoko had looked like she was going to cry and Soujiro had pointed out there was room enough for both of them. As the people began to drift away, Soujiro fought the urge to take a step back and run. Maybe her sickness had come back and finally taken her from the world. Maybe she hadn't come back. Maybe she was waiting for him to leave, because she didn't want to see him. Maybe, maybe…

'SOU-CHAN!'

Soujiro's head flew up as that voice run bells in his head. His blue eyes scanned the rails, and fell on the short, middle-aged woman waving at him 'HEY!'

'K-Kyoko-san!'

'CHAN, I told you, CHAN!' the woman yelled. 'KENJI! Is that really you?!'

'Hey baachan!'

'Souta! You're SO ADORABLE!'

Kenji and Souta blushed as a few young ladies giggled at them. 

'She's so…embarrassing…' Kenji mumbled, rubbing his nose. Soujiro, on the other hand, was watching Kyoko, who, having gotten Kenji and Souta's attention way from her for a moment, pointed hurriedly at a place behind the stairs used to get down. Kaji looked over his shoulder to ask Soujiro something.

'…aniki?' he asked, and looked around. 'Where'd he go?'

Soujiro looked around the stairs, and stared. She hadn't changed too much. Her short hair, once feathery and light, had grown long, and she now hair it pinned up on the back of her head with a simple pin. A sakura flower was caught in it, caught after skittering along the spring breeze. She was still petite, but there was a delicate strength about her, now; a bit like a little bird determined to learn to fly. Soujiro fought the smile forming on his face.

She'd learned to soar. 

Her dark eyes were staring at the ground, and her cheeks were flushed, her hands twisting nervously in front of her. 

'Reiko,' he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. She jumped and spun around to face him at the same time, the colour on her cheeks rising rapidly. He was glad she remembered the sound of his voice. She never was one for extravagance; her simple, beautiful kimono was one he remembered watching her fold and pack into her suitcase the night before she had left. Sunset colours wrapped around her body, the delicate sakura petals matching the ones that fluttered across the breeze, brushing past Soujiro's cheek. 

'S-Soujiro-' Reiko managed, staring at him. He looked… exactly as she remembered, but his blue eyes seemed darker and full of a strange softness that hadn't been there before. He reached forward to take her hand, gently tugging her towards him and holding her still and close while his other hand reached around to her back. Reiko felt his gentle, measured breath on her cheek before he pulled back just a little, and showed her the pale pink petal resting on his palm. 

'This was stuck in your hair,' he whispered hoarsely. They stared at each other for a while longer, neither of them making a move. Neither of them could think. Neither could move. Then a salty tear trickled down Reiko's cheek, and Soujiro pulled her sharply into his arms, nestling his head between her neck and shoulder, all in the space of an instant. 

'I'm so glad to see you again!' Reiko sobbed, into his shirt. Her fingers tightened on the material. Soujiro tightened his grip around her waist, sliding one hand up her back to stroke the soft material of her kimono. 

'Me too,' he murmured, into her hair. 'I'm glad you're well now, Reiko.'

Her slight body shook slightly, and Soujiro had to stop himself from tightening his grip on her even more, just so she couldn't separate herself from him. He could feel her fingernails digging into his skin, and gently caressed the back of her kimono until she seemed to satisfy herself he wasn't going to wander off again, and lifted her head to look at him. She smiled weakly.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I'm such a-'

Soujiro pressed two fingers to her lips, and gently sipped the tears on her cheeks away. 

'Don't,' he murmured into her ear. Reiko nodded, and didn't finish her sentence. There was a clatter of footsteps, and Kenji, Souta, Kaji and Ryoko skidded around the corner of the stairs. 

'They are _not_ kissing.' Kaji said accusingly to Kyoko, who was watching on the stairs, and looked a little annoyed. She waved her parasol at Soujiro and Reiko.

'Don't you two know you're supposed to KISS when there's a happy ending?!'

'Wha-?!' Soujiro gaped, and the only reason he didn't shoot away was because Reiko had kept her grip on his shirt. The girl just smiled at Kyoko, and looked at Kenji and Souta, who had frozen. 

'Oh…' she murmured. 'K-Kenji-san…is that…'

'Reiko!' Kenji shouted, and swept the girl up into the air, spinning her around. 'You look great!'

'K-Kenji-san!'

'Niichan, put her down…'

'Souta-san! Is that really-'

'It's me all right, adorable as ever, right?'

Soujiro felt like he'd been cut short a bit, but nevertheless laughed as Souta blushed as Reiko kissed his cheek, just like she'd used to do when he was a toddler. Then he gently took Reiko's hand again, ignoring her small gasp, and pulled her back towards him before introduced Kaji and Ryoko.

The twins got kisses as well, and Kaji, Souta was satisfied to notice, blushed as well. While that was going on, Soujiro looked up at Kyoko, who was trying to look grumpy.

'Kyoko-san, you look well.'

'I am, Soujiro.' Kyoko smiled, giving in and smiling.  But then she pouted. 'But aren't you going to kiss her?'

Soujiro rubbed his nose, colour rising in his cheeks. 

'Well…do you have to, as _soon_ as the ending's come about, Kyoko-san?'

'That's the way it usually goes,' Reiko said, from where she was standing at his side. She smiled up at him, and Soujiro thought he detected a hint on mischief. 'Don't you read, Soujiro?'

'Well…not much…' Soujiro managed, as everything else in the immediate universe fell away, leaving just him and Reiko, the petite girl warm against him as she lifted a hand and curled her fingers around the fold in his shirt. And then she pulled.

It wasn't a hard pull; Reiko would never be a strong girl, but Soujiro was in no condition to resist, either. Soujiro's eyes widened slightly as Reiko's lips touched his, but his body didn't bother with surprise for very long, having more important things to worry about. Souta, Kaji and Ryoko all blushed as Reiko's grip slid from Soujiro's shirt. Soujiro's arm, on the other hand, only tightened. It was quite clear that neither of them were even aware anyone else was breathing.

'So…what do we do now?' Souta asked, trying to tear his eye away. Kyoko grinned wickedly.

'Now,' she grinned, and the boys looked at her suspiciously, 'you can help me find our luggage and carry it back.'

'What?'

'No way!'

'But ba-'

'What about niichan and Reiko-san?' Ryoko asked. Kyoko glanced at the couple, and shrugged, tapping off across the cobbles.

'Oh, they'll have to come up for air sooner or later…' 

The colour on Reiko's cheeks heightened as Soujiro pulled away. She ran her tongue over her lips as she looked around, managed breathlessly,

'They've left. And… some people are staring at us…'

'Not surprising, really.' Soujiro commented, surprising himself with how level his voice was. 

'Mm.' Reiko agreed, not really sure that anything else could be said. Soujiro tugged on her hand.

'C'mon.' he smiled. Reiko stared at the smile; it wasn't a mask. It was a pure smile, one of happiness inside… so much happiness he _had_ to smile. It wasn't a smile of happiness on the outside.  

'Soujiro…did you…find your truth?' she murmured softly, watching his eyes. Soujiro hesitated, and looked at her carefully. There was another timeless moment, where they just watched each other. And then Soujiro started laughing, and pulled Reiko towards him before beginning to walk, swinging her hand gently. Reiko looked at his smile, and felt her own smile spread across her face. 

'Where are we going?' she asked.

'Who knows?'

'Soujiro, I meant… right now.'

'Oh,' Soujiro grinned, feeling oddly light-headed. 'Kyoko-san's house, where I'll have to break up another fight between Kaji and Souta and listen to Kenji and make the tea while Ryoko nurses her brother and Souta and get bullied by Kyoko-san…'

'I'll make dinner.'

'Are you sure you're up for it? You're not too tired?'

'I'm fine, Soujiro.'

'That's good..er…'

'What is it?'

'What happened to that Kurt guy? You know, in the end. He sort of disappeared out of your letters…'

Reiko blinked at him, with his slightly worried blue eyes and black hair, looking young for his years. She began to smile, and then to grin, and then to laugh. 

Reiko was standing only in her underdress when someone knocked on her bedroom door, late that night. 

'Yes?' 

The door was pushed open, and Soujiro gently shut the door behind him.

'I was thinking,' he said, as she stepped towards him. He pulled her into his arms and leaned against the door, looking down at the head of soft, dark hair on his chest. One hand settled comfortably around her waist. Soujiro reached around gently pulled the pin out of her hair with his other hand, watching the rich, dark stuff tumble down her back. He put the pin onto the table and ran his fingers through her hair, absently watching the work as he continued.

'I was thinking about stories,' he murmured. 'The ones with happy endings…'

'Mm?'

'I think…I missed out something very important.' Soujiro said, releasing his fingers from her hair as she looked up at him. 

'Yes?'

Soujiro gently kissed her lips and whispered in her ear.

'I love you, Reiko.'

* * *

o.0 I can't believe I wrote that…hm….oh…it's finished! I don't believe it! I actually finished it!! 

To epilogue or not to epilogue, that is the question…what d'you think?


	9. Owari no ato de

The Random Babblings © of Chibi: Yay! I can write an epilogue! I love epilogues. Complete license for absolute nothing writing. I'll probably go back and fix up the spelling and weird sentences and words and stuff after this, so if you see it updated, it's not really. But feel free to read it again and point out any mistakes I've overlooked. People underrate editing. As an author, you know what you've written, so when you go back and read it a lot of the time you read what you meant to write (because that's what you did write, in your head) and don't actually see what's there. More pairs of eyes always help.

Special thanks to:

Katrina-chan

Masshiro

Ken

Araschid

Kirbypuff

ZeonReborn

Dimensionalmage

Shihali

~mraZzz

Alexia

Cantthinkofaname

PoopooPlaTTer

ChibiSana

Caballero dorado

…who actually reviewed. ^_^v thanks everyone (bows) you've been a great audience. If you wanna read anything else I wrote, going on reviews, I'd recommend What Went Wrong for Slayers fans (X/F) and for anyone who watches Beyblade, The Day Hell Froze Over. Which both probably need editing. The Sequel To Chaos got discontinued, for anyone who wants to read that. And Chaos itself has a crap ending. Not really fond of either.

_Regarding a Sequel:_

If I do write sequel, it'd probably be like… around the kids, because quite frankly I think Soujiro and Reiko have been through enough over the twenty/thirty-odd years they've been living. I'd just want them to settle down and finally be happy, for crying out loud. As a writer I don't wanna mess up their lives anymore. Again. Whatever. 

So the sequel, if I ever bring it into existence, will probably be around the four kids ie Kaji, Ryoko, Souta and Kenji, with Soujiro and Reiko probably being mentor figures, kind of like Madam. Integral to plot (what exists of one), but not main characters as such. And the problem with that sort of sequel is that not many people read the damn things. I mean, I'd like to write it it'd be fun, but there doesn't seem much point if no one's gonna read it. And I don't have time either (I feel so bad about these erratic updates), so I'd have to write it after I finish finals, which is… um… the 21st of November, I think. So by THEN everyone will have forgotten what the hell "Shades of Grey" was/who wrote it/what the hell is was about and will generally be thinking "who the hell are these people?"/ or forgot about the ff entirely and as such just not even see the sequel is up. Which leaves ME feeling depressed.

So…I don't know. I'll probably start a sequel on my computer, knowing me. Whether I finish it or not is another matter. If anyone wants a sequel, if you say so in a review and leave your email/ sign-in so I can get to your email thru your profile, I'll send it to you or let you know the sequel's up because… I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T REVIEW! It leaves you feeling like… so...inadequate. I stop writing when that happens. It really annoys my best friend who says that when she takes over the world she's going to lock me in a padded room with a computer, printer and a cd player until I finish "her" story… -_-;;

Whoa. Long rant. I should be a webcomic artist.

Owari no ato de…

_After The End…_

Time moves on, as it usually does. Things change, things stay the same. Some things change, but they are the same as they always were.

Seasons, for example. It's spring, the sakura flowers surrounding the house, occasional streams of petals along the breeze. The purple plum blossoms to the back of the house fill the air with a sweet scent that carry gently on the wind, brushing past the warm, soft cheek of the dark-haired woman sleeping peacefully on the futon in a large room. A man lies next to her, his black hair slightly messy; he hasn't bothered to get out of bed yet, and simply smiles as the breeze passes silently through the open doors that open out the garden. The breeze catches the long locks of a teenage girl sweeping the stone path that leads out from the house, and down into a set of stairs. The house may as well be a shrine, sitting on its lofty perch in the forests of the mountain. The young girl pauses sweeping and sniffs the sweet scent of air, and laughs breathily as it sweeps a stream of petals past her and down the stairs. They brush past another young man, who stops and watches them pass before continuing his way up the stairs.

Some things change, but they are the same as they always were. 

The second example is people.

This young man does not, technically, live here. He has been gone for several months already, teaching and learning kendo in a dojo near Osaka. He has dark brown hair, soft chocolate eyes, and he looks quite tired, as if he as been walking constantly for some time. He's grown a lot from the last time we saw him, so we may as well be blunt; some young women have been known to faint on sight.

His name is Souta, self-proclaimed E xpert of Everything. 

'Why'd they have to park themselves on top of a bloody _mountain_?' he grumbled, trudging up the stairs. He pulled himself up onto the top stair and stared at the girl sweeping the path. She hadn't changed at all, but she was a sight for sore eyes…she always looked prettier, every time her saw her. That kimono was new, he hadn't seen it before… 

'Ryoko-chan!'

The girl spun around, a huge smile spreading across her face as she saw the young man standing at the top of the stairs. 

'Souta-kun!' she dropped the broom, running towards him as fast has her kimono allowed her.

Unfortunately, she didn't reach him in time to see or stop the wooden tray that shot out of, apparently, absolutely no where. It smacked out worn traveller on the head hard enough for him to tumble back down the stairs, stopping about twenty down.

'…ow..'

'MWAHAHAHAHA! DIE!'

'KAJI!' Ryoko yelled, glaring at the young man standing on the balcony and looking far too pleased with himself than was necessary.  'How could you?! We haven't seen him for months!'

'Exactly! How dare he ruin my day by coming back!' 

Ryoko sighed, and anxiously trotted down the stairs to where Souta was gradually sitting up and rubbing his head. Souta and Kaji had not exactly grown fond of each other over the years. Reiko said it was because they both had something the other one wanted all to themselves, but she hadn't told Ryoko what she had meant. And Soujiro wouldn't either. 

'Are you all right, Souta-kun?' she asked, kneeling down by his side and touching his arm. He gave her a smile.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Was that Kaji?'

Ryoko gave him a Look. It promised instant death if Souta even thought about picking a fight the first day he got back.

'All right, all right.' Souta sighed, and winced, rubbing his shoulders before getting to his feet. 

'You look exhausted,' Ryoko said, as they climbed the stairs together. 'How long have you been walking, Souta-kun?'

'Mm… about a day and a half, I think…'

'Without stopping?!'

'I wanted to get back here.' Souta muttered, not looking at her expression. Ryoko groaned at the same time as his stomach did, and they looked at each other. Ryoko folded her arms. Souta put his hand behind his head, laughing sheepishly.

'Er… do you have anything to eat?'

'Souta… I thought it was you as soon as Reiko said she thought she heard a large pig sniffling around outside.'

Souta glared at Soujiro, who had the uncanny knack of either being able to tell a joke and not let people know it, or to say something that was entirely innocent but at the same time incredibly suspicious. Like that. 

'Right.' He said, still glaring. Soujiro looked ridiculously young for his age as Reiko came up behind him, gently kissing his cheek and making him flush slightly. It was crazy. Souta could have sworn it was supposed to be the other way around. 

'Souta, you've grown.' Reiko said, sitting down beside him and brushing some dirt off his cheek in the air that she always did. 

'I know,' Souta said. 

'I'll run a bath for you, and get you some fresh clothes.' Reiko said, standing up. 

'What exactly are you implying?' Souta demanded.

'Put bluntly,' Kaji sniggered, ' "You Smell."'

Souta threw the rice bowl with deadly accuracy and so fast that even Soujiro later admitted it would have been only easy for him to catch it. As Kaji stumbled and fell into his sister's arms, Reiko sentenced Souta to doing the laundry for the rest of his stay.

'But Rei-chaaaaaan…'

'Don't "but" be, Souta-chan.' Reiko said severely. 'You could hurt Kaji.'

'Well, that was the idea…' She just _Looked_ at him. Souta _hated_ that look. It was almost as bad as his mother's. Words of protest died in his throat, and, ignoring Soujiro's laughter, he trudged off to take his bath. The door slammed.

'Do you think I upset him?' Reiko asked, in the thoughtful silence that followed, broken only by distant griping from the direction of the bathroom.

'He just doesn't like being susceptible to the women in his life,' Soujiro soothed, but the effect was spoiled by the constant sniggers he was having trouble controlling. Ryoko looked at him severely. 

'Stop teasing him, niichan. He's tired.'

'Yes! Stop teasing me, I'm TIRED!' Souta yelled grumpily from the bathroom. 

'Oh, you've got good hearing.' Reiko observed. 

'Damn straight!'

'Souta-chan, you probably already know this, but I haven't actually prepared the bath for you yet, dear…'

There was a silence.

'Ah, _shit_.'

'Mother?' Souta said, sliding open the door. He stepped quietly into the room, watching the lady seated on the edge of the tatami, watching the birds in the garden beyond. His mother had aged quickly, as if the need to look after her sons had stalled age and it's troubles. Once that need was gone, certainly, she had aged. Her one black hair was dark grey with streaks of while, and a few lines showed the passing of years. She had lost weight too, he noticed with concern. She turned her head and smiled and him, and he relaxed. She was fine, just…getting old. 

'Once we are born, we must die,' Shiori said, as if reading her son's thoughts. 'I would tell you, Souta, if anything were wrong.'

Souta smiled.

'I know.' he sat down on the tatami, and she watched him. 'What?'

'Don't you have even a hug for you poor mother?' she demanded, and Souta laughed. He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, and then looked around as the door slid open again.

'Thanks for coming to say hello.' Kenji said dryly, shutting the door behind him. Souta stood up, grinning. 

'Well, I thought you and the missus might be _busy_…'

Kenji whacked the back of his brother's head. He had married a six months ago; that was, incidentally, the last time Souta had been back. The girl Kenji had married had been the daughter of a nobleman he'd lent his services to as a bodyguard during his time wandering. He'd become friends with the girl, at least on formal terms. The result was that when her family had passed through the town a half and a half before and seen him, Reiko had-gently, of course- beaten the reason Soujiro was able to exchange smiles and nods with the daughter in the carriage out of her husband and invited the family over for a meal. She had enlisted the help of some of Kenji's cooks and staff to help a bit, of course. Madam and Kenji themselves had of course been invited as part of Reiko and Soujiro's extended –or unofficially adopted- family. One thing had led to another and so while Madam was wrapping the lord around her little finger regarding trade agreements, Kenji and the daughter had gotten along quite well bitching to each other about respective duties.

Getting married because they understood each other and would make their families happy had, for about six months, been a joke between everyone with the exception of the girl's parents, who had little sense of humour. They weren't aware of it. Then Kaji had said something that made Kenji start thinking about his own feelings in the matter, instead of what everyone else thought. Reiko had given him the little emotional nudge and Souta had literally beaten some sense into the man. Combined, along with Madam's people-twisting skills, appropriately romantic (and private, to Souta's disgust) circumstances had been arranged and Kenji had proposed for the girl's hand in marriage. 

Which she had gratefully accepted and then proceeded to beat her new fiancé into the ground for putting off for so long. Soujiro had commented that she reminded him of a married girl his age he'd seen in Tokyo not long back. 

Her name was Yukino, and she slammed open the door in time to stop Kenji strangling his younger brother in order to stop various lewd comments.

'Kenji!'

'Well, he's being a-'

'Put your brother down this instant!'

Kenji looked at his wife sulkily, and then grinned, seeing something in her eyes no one else could. He released Souta without another word of complaint.

On reflection, Souta thought he should have wondered more about that. Yukino _glomped_ him. He had a suspicion she cut off his air and made it that painful on purpose (which, just for the record, she did).

'Wai! How are you? You look so well! And CLEAN! They made you have a bath before you came, didn't they? Why didn't you come and see us first? You've grown so much, you're not as cute as Kenji, though, how did the training go?'

Souta blinked as the girl stepped back, and then narrowed his eyes at her stomach. He jabbed her obi once, and then twice.

'Have you put on _weight_?' he asked. Yukino's eyebrow twitched.

'Well, I see you really haven't changed.' Kaji said dryly, looking at the Souta-shaped hole though several shoji. He looked, Ryoko noticed with a twinge of annoyance, rather impressed.

'Shut up.' Souta said, from where he was nursing his bruised head in a lump on the floor, lying on his mother's lap. The woman took the cold towel Ryoko passed her and changed it with the one on the boy's head. Soujiro, Reiko, Ryoko and Kaji had followed Souta after, they said, giving him time to say his hellos. 

'So if you haven't put on weight, why do you look like it?' Souta demanded, earning the Kaji Award for Most Dense Person Ever To Walk the Earth. Yukino's eyebrow twitched again.

'I'M _PREGNANT_ YOU _IDIOT_!'

Everyone looked at Souta to see how he would take this. He blinked, and blinked again.

'…oh.' He said eventually. 

'You know what?' Ryoko giggled. 'That's exactly what Kenji said.'

'So…I'm going be an uncle in another six months at my tender young age.' Souta was listing off on his fingers. 'Kenji and Yukino are sickeningly in love. Soujiro and Reiko haven't changed a bit, which is, on reflection, kind of depressing. You've grown a bit and Kaji's as annoying as ever. What does this tell you?'

'You have a good life?' Ryoko suggested. Souta sighed and flopped back on the grass, staring up at the purple sky through the leaves of the forest. He smiled faintly, and rolled his head to look at her. She was standing by the tree, watching the sun begin to go down. The edges of the sky were beginning to glow orange- from here, you could see it, out over the flat land of the rice patties and town, the strange yellow-orange glow of sunset. The clouds and the sky, mirrored in the rice patties, made it look as if the world was as thin as a rice biscuit and someone had cut through, so they could watch the sky from both above and below. 

'You say,' he murmured, 'the strangest things.'

Ryoko smiled down at him.

'But you do, Souta-kun. You can barely remember your father, who abused your mother and Rei-chan. You grew up with a loving mother and practical sister, and your older brother. Soujiro always played with you, and taught you things no one else could and that you wanted to know. And even though there were times when you were sad, it all worked out for you, in the end. It really did.'

Souta smiled bitterly, and lay his arm across his eyes.

'Perhaps. I know. But… that makes me feel… like such a worthless person. You all learnt things through your pain that I… I can only imagine, to try to understand.'

'Does that bother you? That you're happy? That you… have had a happy life?'

Normally, Souta thought later, people like her would be angry. Kaji would have been. Kenji wouldn't have understood. They would be angry that he didn't realise what he had. They might even be angry because he had what they hadn't. They'd be angry that he didn't appreciate it, but that wasn't it. He knew he had a good life. It was full of little sorrows… like his mother's impending death, regret on behalf of Reiko and Soujiro, for the lives they had led. That his brother had never really been able to spend much time with him as he'd been growing up. Little sorrows. But because of them…he felt worthless. Nothing truly painful had ever happened to him. So he could only try to understand.

'Yes.'

Ryoko looked at him, and he knew she understood. Because she… seemed to be able to understand everything. She said she only had a teenager's experience behind her, but that wasn't right. Because she listened. To Soujiro and Reiko, just like he did. And had pain of her own. So she…

'That's all right.' She said, sitting down next to him. He opened his eyes and shifted his arm a bit to look at her. 'It's all right. Because we do learn things through pain….'

'…but you, people like you, you learn things as well.'

Souta and Ryoko looked around. Behind them stood Reiko, holding a small box filled with ohagi. Soujiro was next to her, holding her free hand. And behind them, Kaji, looking sulky, Madam, Kenji and Yukino. 

'We understand,' Reiko said. 'Most of us. Those of us that have been hurt. But people like you, with only life's little sorrows behind you, you're not worthless. Because even if you don't have anything happen to you that makes you suddenly realise something, or make you have some philosophy that helps you through life, you're still worth more than any of us with bittersweet memories of the world. Because you remind us that we're human. We can't get lost in thinking about our own troubles, or start thinking with our heads in the clouds, like we know everything. It's people like you, who live for the present and for happiness, that keep us on the ground.'

'Or makes you angry,' Souta said. 'Or upset.'

'Determined to be miserable, aren't we?' an all-too familiar voice shouted, and Kyoko appeared into the clearing, to the surprise of all.

'Neesan!'

'Hey sis! Ne, Souta-chan. I've never had anything apocalyptic happen to me either.' Kyoko said. 'And you're going to say that I have a lifetime behind me, and that's true. But so long as you can make someone smile and be happy, I don't think it matters what's happened to you. You're always worth something, if someone smiles because of you.'

There was a long silence, and Souta smiled. That Kaji broke the spell.

'You know I think the last ten minutes of conversation made no sense whatsoever.'

'You wouldn't.' Souta shot back, before he could even think about it.

'Are you implying that I'm stupid?'

'Hm, let me think about this… YES!'

'You little-'

'Who's little?! I'm taller than you are!'

'You are not!'

'Are too!'

'Am not!'

'Are too!'

Soujiro sighed as he and the others sat down on the grass and began eaten the ohagi.

'You know, it really is true. I really don't think some things _will_ ever change.'

'Oh yeah, Soujiro.' Souta said, pausing grinding Kaji's face into the dirt with a foot. 'That talk reminded me. What was your truth, in the end? You never said.'

Soujiro smiled. 

'I didn't, did I?'

There was an expectant silence from those around him. He picked up another ohagi.

'What're you all so quiet for? Mm, these are really good, hon.'

'Thankyou.' Reiko smiled. Everyone else hit the ground.

'You mean you're not going to tell us?!'

'What was with that "I didn't, did I" crap then?!'

'I was just agreeing with you,' Soujiro said, looking a bit confused. 'I never said I was going to tell you, did I?'

'Argh! You're all mad!'

Soujiro smiled as Kaji and Souta resumed beating each other up, and Madam and her sister started placing bets on who would win with Ryoko tried to get them to stop.

'No…you'll…have to find out something for yourself.' He smiled. 'If you need a truth. Sometimes… a feeling will do. If you're lucky, Souta… you'll never have to think about it.'

The world is full of truths and deep and meaningful sayings. They're beautiful phrases and words, each one like a flower; precious. Being philosophical about things isn't wrong. It gives you something to hold onto, and having a set of your own truths, your own phrases, words that you can hold close to your heart, that gives you a sense of warmth inside. Like you know something, that you do _know_ something, that's precious. 

But what's really precious… is looking at those words, things written down, shaped by tongues, and realising that deep inside…you already knew that. And so you can move on, leaving those words behind, with just that feeling in your heart. Because something that's in your heart can never, will never, ever truly leave.

'That's why normal people and those with painful memories need each other. Sometimes…you need someone to put the words there, or bring them out of your heart. Or to help you move on. Remind you.' Reiko murmured.

'Hm?' Soujiro asked, looking at her as the sun went down. She smiled softly, and looked around her extended family with warm eyes.

'Nothing,' she said. 'Just thinking out loud.'

And as the sun went down, everyone knew it wasn't the end. It wasn't a beginning. It was just another sunset. Tomorrow, the sun would rise again, and fall in the evening. And it would keep on doing so.

But it would be nice to think that life was that simple.

'Kyoko….'

'Yes?'

'What the hell are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were in Yokohama!'

'Oh yeah. Well…I'm not.'

'I can see THAT! Why the hell not?!'

'Well…'

_(owarijyanai no…)_

_(It's not the end…)_


End file.
